9:33 p.m. | 2002-08-28 Cake is for The �Cake People�. So today at work, we had a small birthday celebration for little ole me. Of course, it involved cake. Now, for YEARS, I have been telling family, friends and co-workers that I DO NOT like cake. Because I don�t. It�s too sweet and it makes me sick to my stomach. But, does that stop the Cake People? Oh no! Every year, it�s the same thing. They get me a cake, I eat a tiny piece, get a stomachache and thank them. And, since I don�t really care for chocolate, today I had chocolate cake with chocolate filling and chocolate frosting. (True sign that Cake People are behind all that.) Here�s what I would have preferred: Nachos. They�re tasty, festive and make you want to do the salsa. But, no such luck. I do believe that babies are born solely so the Cake People can have cake several times a year. People seem think that you have to have some sort of event to have cake, but ya know what? You can actually eat cake whenever the fancy strikes. Really. It�s true. (Try taking a sheet cake to work instead of donuts. It will disappear just as quickly.) While I was eating my obligatory tiny piece of a HUGE sheet cake, they started �threatening� me. They said that I had to take home whatever was left. Now, the actual �division� I work in is small � 4 people � but, fortunately I have a lot of friends from other �divisions�. After they all ate cake, I shamelessly went hunting around for random Cake People because I was NOT going to take cake home. I was ruthless. When virtual strangers politely declined to partake, I told them I was going to throw away whatever was left over. Then the Cake People strangers stepped up to the plate! I made it very clear that they didn�t have to know me or even care to know me or they could hate me, but they MUST eat my cake. I became the building �town crier�. I hawked that cake like a snake oil salesman. (�CHOCOLATE CAKE? Anyone want cake? Step up, have some cake!�) It worked. And, I appreciate that they wanted to celebrate my birthday, but really, I think the Cake People just wanted to use my birthday as a reason to have cake. I didn�t even get a card. However, I�m also having a secret work-related birthday lunch celebration with people in my inner circle � yes I have an inner circle � on my actual birthday (Friday), so it�s all cool. This was just the standard, public, obligatory birthday recognition party. (It�s hard to explain all that so I just let you figure it out or just sit there and wonder what the hell I�m talking about. It�s my birthday and I�ll confuse you if I want to.) And trust me, there was a lot of confusion amongst the random Cake People (CP) today too. Here�s how that went. (CP:) So is today your actual birthday? (CI:) Uh, no. (CP:) When is your actual birthday? (CI:) Friday. (CP:) Oh, so you have Friday off? (CI:) Uh, no. (CP:) So everyone else in your �division� is off on Friday then. (Looking confused.) (CI:) Uh, no. We�ll all be here Friday. (CP:) So why are you celebrating today? (Completely confused now.) (CI:) Uh, I don�t know. Here have another piece of cake. Take some with you. Share some with your friends. (An attempt at distraction.) (CP:) OKAY! But here was the truly wonderful part of the whole cake thing. (CP:) Are you a Leo or a Virgo? (My Boss:) She�s a feces, uh, I mean a Pisces! At that point, my boss, my friends, my co-workers and I proceeded to dissolve into a 15-minute laugh fest which involved clutching at furniture to stay upright! (Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE my boss?) However, the random Cake People fled, not knowing quite how to respond to such a comment. But, fortunately, they took cake with them. And yes, I did point out to my boss that she had recently called my work crap and now she was calling me crap. Oh, we�ll be laughing at that for months! Let me just say that not everyone understands the humor of our �division�. I can�t wait for the Friday lunch festivities. Trust me, that will be a complete 2-hour laugh fest which may or may not involve spewing food or drinks amongst the laughter. your thoughts? seed flower