5:42 p.m. | 2012-12-28 Mum's the Word EldestNephew and ENGirlfriend recently had a baby - my first GrandNephew. He's totally adorable of course. And, healthy and thriving. All is good. The only hiccup is that EN decided that he doesn't want my mother/his grandmother in GrandNephew's life, or theirs either. Specifically, he wants to protect both ENGirlfriend and GrandNephew from MommaCrayCray�s toxicity. Consequently, EldestNephew never told MommaCrayCray about the pregnancy or birth. My sisters and I were fine with that and respected his decision not to tell her or have her in his family's life. We actually feel quite relieved that GrandNephew won't have to suffer the things we did at her hands. But, it's pretty crazy when you think about it. I mean, to purposely NOT tell a person that they've become a great grandmother. I can't imagine how I would feel if that happened to me (and I knew about it, of course). We figured we'd not be able to keep it from her forever but what we didn't expect is that his other grandparents would tell her! That they did -- they congratulated her on becoming a great grandmother. Yikes. I should back up a bit and give some background. MommaCrayCray has never liked FavoriteSister, EldestNephew's mother. In fact, when they first brought baby FavoriteSister to her, she asked them to take her away. From that day forward, she treated her like the unwanted child she was, constantly heaping abuse upon her. FavoriteSister got it the worse out of all of sisters. That played out as you would expect it to - as soon as she graduated high school, she ran off with the boy next door, became pregnant, got married and had EldestNephew. The marriage was doomed, of course, and ended just two years later and FavoriteSister became a single mother. Ironically, that was pretty much what MommaCrayCray did as well - in her first semester of college, she got pregnant by the first man she dated (MyDad), got married and dropped out of school. Amazingly, that marriage lasted 20 years. Anyway, FavoriteSister had moved away and stayed away just as the rest of us did. (Technically, I suppose, it was MommaCrayCray who married two weeks after she divorced MyDad and ran off leaving us behind but whatever. The results were the same - none of us lived in the same town.) MommaCrayCray continued being abusive to FavoriteSister so she mostly stayed away from her. When given the opportunity, MommaCrayCray was likewise abusive to EldestNephew so they didn't spend much time together or ever develop a relationship. So, it makes sense that he doesn't want her in his son's life. So, what's MommaCrayCray's response to finding out that she wasn't told about her great grandchild? She's decided that she's done with EldestNephew and will no longer send him holiday cards (which has been the extent of her relationship with him for the last decade or so). She's totally playing the victim. As usual. Meanwhile, I respect EldestNephew for protecting GrandNephew and I'm glad he�s doing what he feels compelled to do. But you know what? It's sad that it has to be that way. Really, really sad. your thoughts? seed flower