9:31 p.m. | 2020-04-27
You’re Single, Right?
I was upstairs this morning and heard the landline ring downstairs. I never answer the landline and only have it for our satellite TV and alarm system. But, I heard a strong voice leaving a message so I thought it might be something important. (Outside of political campaign calls, our local government often calls with Amber or Silver Alerts.)
So, I tap the message button and hear this.
"Hi Hus Band, this is Jerry (female voice). Just wondering if this is still a good number for you. Call me back at XXX-XX-XXX. Thanks."
So, I write the number down, go back upstairs, and settle in to call her back. Based on the message, I get the impression it's a woman my husband has worked with, befriended, or dated before. So I call...
(CI) Hi, my name is Cruel Irony. I'm Hus Band’s wife.
(Jerry) Hus BARD?
(CI) No. Hus BAND. You JUST called. I'm returning your call.
(Jerry) Oh, ok. Let me look that up. (keyboard clacking)
(CI) (Look it up?!)
(Jerry) Oh, Hus Band! Is he available?
(CI) No, he's deceased.
(Jerry) Oh... I'm sorry. I have some photos of his from 2003 but you probably already have them.
(CI) Probably. (Since Hus Band was a photographer.)
(Jerry) Do you have a photo of him in a cowboy hat and boots, and yellow jacket.
(CI) (Wasn’t thinking photos of HIM!) Yes.
(Jerry) Okay, then you have the photos I have. If you don't mind, when did he pass?
(CI) November 5, 2019.
(Jerry) So you're single?
(CI) Uh...I'm widowed.
(Jerry) Here at MadeUp Singles, we can transfer accounts. Since you're now single, I can transfer his account to you!
(CI) Uh, no thanks. I'm not interested in that.
(Jerry) Call us when you are!
I suspect Jerry has been working from home like many others - not sure if she's the owner of MadeUp Singles or an employee. Guessing they're reaching deep if they're going back to 2003. But, quite the salesperson. Heh.