10:08 p.m. | 2006-03-16 Mothers And Daughters, Oy Vey. Apparently, Mother-Daughter relationships are very keen. Not so much in my life. From day one, I never got along with my mother. I was my father’s child for sure. My mother and I? At logger-heads since I was born. I really envy other women who have close relationships with their mothers. I want that. And, I wonder what makes that happen. What are the elements of a great mother-daughter relationship? What makes it work? I know that my mother hated, absolutely HATED her mother. And, I was the recipient of all that. All my life I’ve heard about that. It strikes me funny, actually, that MyMother would expect that we’d get along considering her own disdain for her mother. Not the best example. Yet, I’ve developed a soft spot for MyMom. Over the years. She tried and she still tries. And, I was unduly harsh. Very, very harsh. Perhaps the harshest I’ve ever been. Over the years, I cut my mother no slack at all. For a long time, I saw MyMom as weak. As she appeared to be. When I appealed to her, she always shrugged. She simply shrugged. Like I should “get it”. Now I know though. I don’t have kids. I should say that up front. I don’t. But, I’m starting to get it. Getting why she shrugged. Probably the worst thing in life, at least for a person trying to be perfect, is for that person’s child to point out all the flaws. That’s gotta hurt. And while I don’t have children, there are kids in my life... nieces, nephews and such... and if I ever effected their life in a bad way? I would be so very hurt. And quite sensitive about it. I mean, you can’t be a perfect parent, or a perfect aunt even. As much as I feel for MyMom, I feel even worse for being so harsh. In a way. During my formative years, MyMom ruled. With an iron fist. The consequences for crossing her? Not so good. But now that I’m older, it’s much different. She, MyMom, is trying so hard to relate to me. She’s trying to be perfect so as to not upset me. She’s pretty much walking on eggshells all the time she’s around me. That’s very sad to me. She’s not a person I would choose to hang out with everyday, but I do respect her and I hate that she shakes around me. When she’s with me. It’s a turnabout that I didn’t expect. Ever. I spent so much of my life in fear of her and for her to be in fear of me? That’s just... strange. Humbling too. It make me re-think a lot of things. MyDad would be proud I’ve come to this place, actually. He always reminded me that MyMom is the only mother I’ll ever have and I need to honor that. He was right. your thoughts? seed flower