9:21 p.m. | 2003-07-17 Some Folks Are Just Chronically High. Like The Parking Lot People. Now that I live Downtown, I�m receiving offers in the mail to park in privately-owned parking garages. Today, I received an offer of 25% off monthly parking for 3 months. Which means that I can park about 5 blocks away in an unreserved spot for only $112.50 for each of the first 3 months, and $150 per month thereafter. Or, I could get a reserved parking spot for a mere $127.50 for each of the first 3 months, and $170 per month thereafter. They also provide �valet service, complimentary interior vacuum and windshield cleaning�. Well, and car washes upon request, for an additional charge. Yeah. See, they�re high. I have a 15-year-old car and I can park on the street for free. And, I even have a Visitor Pass which enables my friends to park on the street for free too. Sure, I don�t have a �regular� spot, my car gets dirtier than 15 pigs rolling in the mud all day and it�s not protected, but hell, it�s market value is probably a negative 35�, so that all works for me. And, for god�s sake, what�s their profit margin there? 500%? See, they�re high. It turned out that today was Intern�s last day. So, well, I finally introduced him around. See, in order to leave, he had to have a form signed by a bunch of different divisions. And, he hasn�t been to most of them, so I escorted him around. While we were doing that, I got caught up with all my buddies. This is that. (Jewel:) Hey Cruel-Irony, who�s this? (Looking at Intern.) (CI:) Uh, this is Intern. He�s been helping us for the last month or so. Say hi quick cause today�s his last day. You�ve seen him around, right? (Jewel:) Yes, I have. And, I remember reading the email that welcomed him. However, you never brought him by to introduce him. (CI:) We�re busy. We don�t have time for shit like that. (Another Colleague:) I�ve only seen him once and it was earlier this week. (CI:) Well, you know, he�s stuck-up and all. (Jewel:) Oh, I see. It�s all his fault that you didn�t introduce him around. (CI:) Yeah. And yours too. Remember? They sent everyone an email suggesting that you welcome him. I don�t recall any of you all coming around to �welcome� him. (Another Colleague:) I never saw that email. I just delete those. (CI:) Well, there you go. Then Intern had to turn in his keycard and stuff so we went to that division. This is what happened. (CI:) (Just in passing.) Hi Telephone Guy! (TG:) Hi Cruel-Irony and Intern! (CI:) (Checking Main Guy�s office.) Oh, Main Guy (MG) isn�t here. (MG:) Hey Cruel-Irony! I�m over here. (CI:) You�re always hiding from me. Hey, it�s Intern�s last day so we need to do this form thing except I don�t really know what we�re supposed to do. I do know that he�s supposed to give you back his keycard, but other than that, I don�t think he has anything. Well, except the phone and voicemail. (MG:) And, his ID. (CI:) Oh. Um, I told him he could keep that as a souvenir. He has to turn it in? (MG:) Well, he can keep it but I�ll have to cut the corner off of it because he�s no longer officially here. (I:) (Starts to hand his ID over, then hesitates.) Can we do that �cut the corner� thing. I�d like to keep this. (Yeah, that surprised me too.) (MG:) Sure. (He whipped out some scissors and mutilated Intern�s ID.) Here you go. (CI:) Wow! You weren�t kidding. That was a huge corner that you cut off. (I:) (Looking surprised that his ID was radically mutilated, before pocketing it.) Then, later, it was time to say goodbye. I abruptly ended a phone call in order to do just that, but I really suck at saying goodbye. Intern looked at me like he wanted to hug me or expected me to hug him. I looked at Intern like I wanted to hug him or expected him to hug me. Then, I just stuck out my hand and he shook it. I reminded him that he has my phone number and email address and told him that I�d expect regular updates from him. It was all very weird. I�m much better at saying goodbye when I know I�m going to see the other person again, but I have no idea if I�ll ever see Intern again. Plus, he had to hurry because he had to go pick up his moving truck before they closed. I�ll miss him. For sure. I have tomorrow off so I can get everything ready for Christmas in July. I discovered that the great plan that Dearest Sister and I had is a little messed up. See, there are 3 toddlers in the mix. Two 3-year-old boys and one 2-year-old girl. We covered the boys and StepSisterBubbly was set to cover the girl. Here�s that. (DS:) Remember how I told you that StepSisterBubbly (SSB) was part of the toddler group gift givers? Well, I was wrong. StepSisterInLaw (SSIL) is part of that group and SSB has a different group. So I called SSB to get SSIL�s phone number. However, SSB said that SSIL is a stickler for rules. (We�re kinda bending them with our plan. Ironically, our plan was lauded by the main organizer of this event.) I definitely got the impression that SSIL won�t be too keen on our plan since it �technically� violates the rules. So, I didn�t call her. If it doesn�t work out, I�ll just get StepNiece3 another present. (CI:) What? Wait a minute. SSIL is a stickler for rules about Christmas IN JULY. Hello? We moved Christmas to JULY for god�s sake. Obviously, we make this shit up as we go along. THAT is too funny! (DS:) Well see, that�s why I didn�t call her. I don�t even know what I�d say. (CI:) Hopefully, it�ll all come together the right way. If it doesn�t, we�ll just fix it after the fact. Rules for Christmas in JULY� that�s so funny! As you can tell, Christmas in July and the blending of two families are both works in progress. My Dad would have loved the irony of it all. your thoughts? seed flower