10:24 p.m. | 2003-12-11 I Could Use A Muse Right About Now. One That Would Follow Me Around, Actually. Well, um, yeah. Things have become so wacky that I�ve become addicted to anything that doesn�t have to do with work, looking for work, my love life or, even the news. That there is another reason that I�m very grateful that our family celebrates Christmas in July. If I had to actually engage in the �holiday season�, I think my head would explode. I can�t have that because, you know, I�d have to clean that shit up. And, frankly, I have some dusting and vacuuming to do before I scrub my brain matter spatter off my walls. Just saying. So, of course, I had a second job interview today. This time, it was a �panel� interview. Anyway, I think it went pretty well. I think. They originally interviewed 25-30 people and asked 6-7 people back for a follow-up. I would be one of those in the 6-7 pack of people. That would appear to be a good sign, but I�m not taking anything for granted. You just never know. I�ve been working, and consequently, interviewing, for over 20 years. And, while I�ve landed jobs without the perfect qualifications, I�ve not encountered a situation like this one before. See, their �ideal� candidate is a person that has experience and excels at THIS and THAT. THIS and THAT, in this case, tend to repel each other. It�d be akin to finding chef who�s also a hairstylist. In other words, it�s a tall order. I do have experience and �excel� � if you will � at THIS, but there�s a huge empty space when it comes to THAT. Okay, it�s not so empty, just that I don�t have direct experience there. I know people, I�ve been involved in that trade and I�m quite familiar with it, but I don�t have any actual qualifications with THAT. I could�ve lied, I suppose. But, well, I�m not a good liar and they find that shit out at some point or another. However, I must say that I thought this was a good sign. (Interviewer:) We�d really like to have a person who�s experienced with THAT also. I can tell from your resume that that�s not what you�ve been doing. However, could you tell me what you do know about THAT? (CI:) Well� blah, blah, blah. So, I�ve mostly just been indirectly involved. And, sometimes, I�ve been directly involved � like in these situations � but you won�t find my name attached to it. (I:) Actually, it sounds like you know all about that but just haven�t done it offcially. (CI:) Yes. I�ve never actually made the call myself. There were more questions and I shifted from one to another, as you do. And, I must say that I really liked every person on the panel. However, when you put three people on a panel, and none of them are professional recruiters, it�s a forgone conclusion that you�re gonna be asked �the question�. Here�s that. (Interviewer2:) Tell us three good work skills that you have. (Translate: Tell us three good things about you.) (CI:) I�m analytical, organized and detail-oriented. And� oh wait, you said �three�, not four. Sorry. (I2:) Please, go on. (I:) You don�t have to stick with three� (CI:) Well, I�m also a skilled liaison. (I2:) Great. Now, tell us three areas in which you�re weak, workwise. (Translate: Tell us three bad things about you.) Here�s where we cut to a quick Public Service Announcement. To all people who interview other people, DO NOT ASK THOSE QUESTIONS. And, don�t multiply it by three. They may be traditional questions, but that doesn�t make them good questions. It�s the same thing as asking people what tree they�d be if they could be a tree. Or, what animal they�d be. The probative value is minimal. In other words, the answers are meaningless. For over two decades, I�ve had the same answer. Albeit, I dress it up differently. And for over two decades, it�s been asked, only in a different form. They even admitted that it was the same question, only refashioned. And, they got the same answer. Again, refashioned. Trust me, I�ve held several jobs where I�ve had to interview people � including my current one � and nothing is gained by such questions. For the first time ever, though, one of the interviewers actually ran with the spin that I gave on my �negative� quality and spun it back into a positive. Just as a note, I only gave them one and then prattled on about that answer. That answered the next two questions. Two, I prattle and three, I just don�t shut up. See, those questions are unnecessary. Anyway, oddly, I had the perfect example of how that kind of negative is a positive. A current example. Which caused me to make this strange exclamation right in the middle of my interview. (CI:) Actually, I�m on call right now, in regards to a meeting, for that very reason� to explain why this tiny error is very critical. (Noticing their reaction to what I said.) Um, you can relax because I don�t have a pager or cell phone. I�m �theoretically� on call. My boss is covering for me at the moment. (OriginalInterviewer:) What meeting is that? (CI:) Oh, it�s off point of what we�re discussing, but in general, it�s about this matter. (OI:) You know about that? (CI:) Sure. (OI:) So, do you do such and such? (CI:) Of course. (OI:) Wait� I have to write a note to myself about that. (I:) Me too. (I2:) Me too. (CI:) Just for your information � since you�re taking notes � you can also match that to your decor. And yes, it was a work-related question that has an odd personal decor angle. So, to recap, I left out a ton of stuff. Yet, the general wackiness of my life right now should be apparent as I went to a second interview, negatives were turned into positives, and I ended up giving them interior design tips. I don�t know what�s in store for me � in the very near future � but I�m guessing that it won�t be boring. Next year? Yeah, I won�t be wishing for an avant-guarde year. Not at all. And, since you guys are a mighty force� send good wishes my way. If you can spare them. your thoughts? seed flower