11:02 p.m. | 2005-01-18 I Didn�t Want To Bring This Up, Yet I Can�t Let It Slide. I went to a regularly scheduled work meeting today. It�s where a bunch of people gather who have interests in common and I�m somewhat of an outsider. In the sense that they invite, and even encourage me to attend, but they all talk about insider things. I consider it a privilege; they�re happy they can bend my ear. No problem there. Just that they get all caught up in their business sometimes and I think they forget that I�m there. Because I consider it a privilege, I don�t abuse their confidence. I�m like a camera. With a conscience. That�s not the issue though. See, there�s one person who attends that is clearly anorexic. It disturbs me. Trust me, I�ve been through a similar battle. It�s been a long time but I still recognize and empathize with those whom struggle. However, back in the day, it was so hidden you just didn�t see it. It wasn�t common. At all. I think that�s what disturbs me. I know there are a lot of people online that deal with eating disorders, but I don�t see them. That�s probably good. It�s just not that pretty. It�s hard to see someone who looks like they�re held together solely by clothes. When someone is wearing many layers and you can still count bones? Not good. It�s even harder to understand that she thinks she�s fat. She�s never told me that, but she doesn�t have to. I was in such a hurry today that I practically ran to the meeting. (My shins are still killing me.) On the way there, I had to detour because of an event and I while I was detouring, I suddenly realized that I completely forgot the name of the meeting chairperson. No recollection at all. In my head, I went through the whole list of participants and that still didn�t jog my memory. Not a good thing. Fortunately, I knew that I had to pass his office door to get to the conference room. I refreshed my memory as I flew by that door. I was so hung up on the fact that my memory is so gone that I had forgotten that the anorexic lady would be in attendance. I�m quite sure she was the first person there� I know the overachieving, perfectionist, anxiety-ridden deal. And, she was the only person in the room that I recognized. The rest of the pack slowly drifted in. However, she recognized me and came over to chat. She�s lost weight since last month so her eyes are HUGE now. I tend to look people in the eyes when I talk to them so that was a bit disturbing. Frankly, I don�t know how she�s even able to work except for that overachieving, perfectionist, anxiety-ridden deal. Physically, yeah. Not so good. She�s friendly and smart and I have no problem with her� except that she looks like she could keel over at any minute. It�s hard to see that. And, it�s also very pronounced when the room is packed, predominately, with older overweight men. Anyway, the meeting went well. A gentleman that I work with sat next to me. (Not a colleague, a �professional guy�. Not that I guys I work with aren�t professional, just that these guys are peripheral people that I work with and �professional guy� is the universal moniker I dub them with.) At some point, PG punctuated someone�s comments with a really funny aside. A quiet aside. That only a few of us heard. I busted out into giggles � couldn�t help it, it was really funny � as did a few other people. Let�s just say that�s not quite the image I�m trying to project in these meetings. However, all of us are involved in, generally, the same work and it�s not pretty. Black humor is always present and appreciated. Cussing too. These meetings aren�t for the faint-hearted or for people who are easily offended. Just saying. But, I have to say, I learn a lot by attending. Insider slang if nothing else. On my way back, I stopped by MyOtherWorkPlace to visit UA. I miss her a lot but she�s quite happy in her new job. Especially when I bring her candy. I was gifted with a lot of candy this holiday season and I�m not much for sweets. UA is not only benefiting from it, she�s loving it as are all her new colleagues. I brought her the last of my candy today. However, I think her colleagues believe I always come bearing sweets. I think I might have created a dependency thing here. Much like when you feed stray cats. your thoughts? seed flower