10:10 p.m. | 2005-05-05 True Independence Requires A Degree of Dependence. Ironically, Of Course. This is one of the things I�ve been working on. Asking for help. It seems so simple yet when you�re used to relying on only yourself, it can be a big deal. As a child, it�s an admirable trait. Unfortunately, it eventually leads to a trait that is often described as �arrogant� or �aloof�. (�Aloof� as defined by the dictionary and not the contestants on ANTM.) And, it is an arrogant trait that makes a person aloof. Fortunately, I�ve been crossing those lines lately. It�s been most evident since I started working on a project for a friend on behalf of a child. Doing something for a friend or a child always breaks me down. That�s good. Anyway, I�ve been asking for help lately, especially with this project. The response has been great. People have actually thanked me for asking for their assistance. They�ve been excited to be involved. Originally, I had planned out this project with only myself involved. And, I could�ve done that. But, the result wouldn�t have been as good. I tapped several people and they all put in an effort. It�s hard for me to articulate how happy I am about the whole project because I�m not good at asking for help hence I�m not used to such great results. It�s amazing to me how people respond so positively � much like all you guys do here with comments and whatnot � I�m just not used to it. And, to have people respond automatically and enthusiastically? That�s so great. It makes me want to ask for help more often. I have a tendency to want to help other people and I pretty much act on that impulse regularly. However, I don�t expect that other people would want to help me. That�s always a surprise. And, you know, some don�t. Some people are just takers and not givers. Yet, there are a lot of people who want to reciprocate and I don�t normally give them that opportunity. For example, when six of my family members died within one year, I didn�t let anyone help me. People offered to do my shopping, laundry, whatever and I just shot them down. That�s so bad. When people say they want to �help�, most often they do want to. Some give lip service, but most don�t. Most, like me, really do want to assist another. Let them. Please. It�s said that �it�s better to give than to receive� and I think that�s true. However, I don�t think you can truly give unless you�re able to receive. Receiving often requires more humbling than giving does. Well, at least for me. your thoughts? seed flower