10:08 p.m. | 2006-03-16 Mothers And Daughters, Oy Vey. Apparently, Mother-Daughter relationships are very keen. Not so much in my life. From day one, I never got along with my mother. I was my father�s child for sure. My mother and I? At logger-heads since I was born. I really envy other women who have close relationships with their mothers. I want that. And, I wonder what makes that happen. What are the elements of a great mother-daughter relationship? What makes it work? I know that my mother hated, absolutely HATED her mother. And, I was the recipient of all that. All my life I�ve heard about that. It strikes me funny, actually, that MyMother would expect that we�d get along considering her own disdain for her mother. Not the best example. Yet, I�ve developed a soft spot for MyMom. Over the years. She tried and she still tries. And, I was unduly harsh. Very, very harsh. Perhaps the harshest I�ve ever been. Over the years, I cut my mother no slack at all. For a long time, I saw MyMom as weak. As she appeared to be. When I appealed to her, she always shrugged. She simply shrugged. Like I should �get it�. Now I know though. I don�t have kids. I should say that up front. I don�t. But, I�m starting to get it. Getting why she shrugged. Probably the worst thing in life, at least for a person trying to be perfect, is for that person�s child to point out all the flaws. That�s gotta hurt. And while I don�t have children, there are kids in my life... nieces, nephews and such... and if I ever effected their life in a bad way? I would be so very hurt. And quite sensitive about it. I mean, you can�t be a perfect parent, or a perfect aunt even. As much as I feel for MyMom, I feel even worse for being so harsh. In a way. During my formative years, MyMom ruled. With an iron fist. The consequences for crossing her? Not so good. But now that I�m older, it�s much different. She, MyMom, is trying so hard to relate to me. She�s trying to be perfect so as to not upset me. She�s pretty much walking on eggshells all the time she�s around me. That�s very sad to me. She�s not a person I would choose to hang out with everyday, but I do respect her and I hate that she shakes around me. When she�s with me. It�s a turnabout that I didn�t expect. Ever. I spent so much of my life in fear of her and for her to be in fear of me? That�s just... strange. Humbling too. It make me re-think a lot of things. MyDad would be proud I�ve come to this place, actually. He always reminded me that MyMom is the only mother I�ll ever have and I need to honor that. He was right. your thoughts? seed flower