10:50 p.m. | 2006-04-05 False Anniversary. I was thinking that I�d come across my diaryland anniversary as of late. Prompted by gold membership reminder emails of course. But, yeah, not so much. I consulted my archives and discovered that I started my diary on May 4, 2002. I would�ve bet my life that I had started it in April, in the early days of April even, of 2001. I suppose it doesn�t matter � except that I want to think it does � when I started this whole diary thing. What�s important is that I update. Yet, I haven�t. Not lately. I have to say that I love, I LOVE, the diaryland community. I love comments, I love site statistics, I love meeting every single person I can possibly meet from diaryland. I love the phone calls, I love the emails. I don�t want to not be here. Except that I haven�t updated. At this point? I just hope you find my archives interesting because I don�t have much to say lately. Everyone goes through this stage, I suppose, but I don�t like it. I just, frankly, don�t have anything to say � you know, as an update. Except that I do. Stuff I can�t share though. It�s frustrating. I want to be clever, humorous and entertaining. At least, as far as entries go. There�s so much I can�t share, you know � the easy stuff, work and whatnot � so I have to dig deep and talk about what�s going on with me. That�s not so easy. I wish it was. So, I don�t update much. That�s not good. At least to me. So in a nutshell, I�m doing well, I think, but I�ve been focused on my heart. Trying to be all heart-healthy � which eliminates most of my audience I know � but there it is. However, I�m also now in a position to share some of my wisdom � hard earned wisdom at that � with other folks. I like that. Don�t know how successful I am at it, but I�m giving it my best shot. Lately, I�ve had an appreciative audience and I can�t tell you how great that is. Really. Unfortunately, I�ve had a difficult life � it�s been tough � but to share what I�ve learned and to have it fall upon receptive ears? Wow. I�d so much like to be that way here. To offer that kind of openness. To just be me in the here and now. And right now? I am. So, ask away. Right here and right now. Trust me, I have answers. Really, I do. your thoughts? seed flower