8:27 p.m. | 2003-05-13 Oh The Joys Of Automated Voicemail Systems. This entry was inspired by this entry of one of my favorites, haloaskew. Like everyone else, I�m often a victim of the automated voicemail system run around. Below is but one example. At a previous job, many years ago, I was tasked with finding out how to use an automated billing system for a particular business service we used regularly. That wasn�t actually part of my job, but for some reason, people assume I can tackle all sorts of odd projects like fixing broken phones, resetting the date/time on fax machines and making money grow on trees. But we all know what happens when you assume something. (If you don�t, it makes an �ass� out of �u� and �me�.) Anyway, I called the business but none of the automated options applied and there was no option for �other shit�. Once it went though all the options, it looped back around to the beginning of the menu. One way that I�ve found to break out of a voicemail system is to just choose an option and get a person who will then transfer you to the correct department. The trick is choosing an option that transfers you to an actual person rather than to another recorded message. I believe that I chose the �If you have a question about your billing� option. Here�s that. (Lady:) Your account number please. (CI:) (Reciting account number.) (Lady:) What can I help you with today? (CI:) Actually, I don�t think you can. See I�m calling in regards to this business service. (Lady:) You�ve called the wrong department. (CI:) I know but please, please, please can you help me? I really need to talk to a REAL LIVE person in regards to this matter. (Lady:) Okay. I�ll see if I can dig one up for ya. (CI:) (chuckling.) Wow! You bury them alive?! You guys sure don�t mess around. (Lady:) (chuckling.) Yeah, we bury �em out back. She transferred me to someone who helped me out and all was right with the world again. But, now you know why it�s hard to reach anyone at the United States Postal Service. They�re all buried alive out back. And, when I get really frustrated with those automated systems, I pull out my old rotary phone, plug it in and dial away. That gets you right through. your thoughts? seed flower