11:37 p.m. | 2005-10-14 Overreaching. Towards the end of the workday, I left the office for another doctor’s appointment. Another test. In my attempt to become a better steward of my health, I made this appointment. Without thought almost. Except that part within me that was wanting to achieve this as a show of good faith on my part towards taking proper care of myself. I was fine with it too. Until, I told a couple of my girlfriends what I’d signed up for. The response was like this. (Girlfriend:) Really? That’s your appointment for today? I’m so sorry. Did you remember to bring aspirin, or Alieve or whatever to take before the appointment? (CI:) Huh? I don’t know about this aspirin thing… why? What? Do you know something I don’t? (Girlfriend:) Oh, they recommend you take aspirin or something before the test… you know, to cope with the pain. You don’t know about that? (CI:) No, I do know about that – kinda. I know people say it’s painful, but I haven’t really thought about that part. That’s when I got a little anxious. About an hour before the appointment. For a brief moment, I wanted to cancel it because I was scared. I knew generally what would transpire but I didn’t know the details. And, I’m a stickler for the details. I tried to squelch that anxiety quickly but it lingered. Yet I continued forward. The fact that I couldn’t figure out how to don the gown didn’t help. Neither did the waiting. But all was okay once the testing commenced. Mostly because the technician engaged me in conversation. About my job. I don’t talk about my job so that caused a huge distraction which overwhelmed the experience. Before I knew it, the technician was congratulating me for producing “textbook perfect” results, thanking me for the conversation and sending me on my way. There really was no pain. A certain level of discomfort… sure. When the technician told me not to breathe, I found it somewhat ironic that I was without breath. Not altogether pleasant but not nearly as unpleasant as most of my testing has been. Yet, when I got home, I wanted to put socks on. Somewhat because it’s been a little chilly lately but mostly because all this constant prodding and poking around has led me to seek some level of down-home comfort. Mashed potatoes and socks are great for that. I don’t have any mashed potatoes but I do have socks. I had to reach deep into my sock drawer though as I’ve been wearing socks every night this week. And, while I have lots of socks, I only have certain amount of comfort socks. I’d almost hit my quota for this week. But I finally found one more pair. Buried deep. I pulled them out and quickly threw them on. Then, I laughed. A lot. As I write this, I have bright red socks on my feet. Fire engine red socks. They’re ridiculous. Every time I look at my feet, I laugh and cringe at the same time. I had no idea that I even had red socks. They do bring me comfort. As long as I don’t look at them. That’s not totally true because whenever I look down, I laugh. That brings me comfort too. They feel wonderfully sweet but are so totally comical. Yet somehow, they seem to be a perfect antidote for another uncomfortable bout of medical procedures. Who knows what I’ll pull out my sock drawer after my dentist appointment on Monday. I’m so ready for JournalCon. your thoughts? seed flower