8:33 p.m. | 2002-05-12 I've Gone Through Despair and I Survived. This weekend was all about despair. What is that exactly? According to my friend, the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, it is an 'utter loss of hope'. And that, folks, is a dead-on description of what I felt. No, it was not a fun experience. But, I went through it. I felt it. I lived it. I experienced it. And, I'm still here. I was surprised at its arrival as I have kept it at bay for many years. However, at some point, you have to welcome it in order to feel the other end of the spectrum, which would be hopefulness. And, I will say that I don't have children, so obviously, today would not be a day for me. But, one of my friends called to say 'Happy Mother's Day' - because I have a tendency to nurture anyone and anything within my sight - and that friend sees that in me. And, that was one thing that brought me out of despair. How can you feel bad when someone wishes you a 'Happy Mother's Day' and you're not a mother? That, my friend, is cruel irony. your thoughts? seed flower