12:15 a.m. | 2002-08-31 Rambling Thoughts. Inspired by halfsorry, I recently hopped onto FindYourSpot.com to see where I would like to live. Having moved a lot in my lifetime, having lived in 5 different states, having visited many more, and not having any sort of family homestead anywhere, I figured that maybe I should see if I could find my spot in the U.S. of A. Here�s what I found out: I would probably really enjoy living in Hawaii, duh, or where I actually live right now, duh. Apparently, I�m so content, I�m bored with all that and trying to find something I�m unhappy about. I love my job, I like where I live, I�m happy with my income and subsequent accessories, I�m happy with my looks, my body, my mind. I�m quite fulfilled by my own form of spirituality. I have great friends and rewarding family relationships (biological or not). Everything has worked out well after years of planning, hard work, and some good luck. Go figure. However, I�ve been in a totally bitchy mood this week. I think it�s because I expected something grand to happen when everything eventually came together. Being this content is kind of anti-climactic. Especially on my birthday, of all days. I gave up striving for perfection a long time ago. Life isn�t perfect; it�s not meant to be that way. I�ve learned the most when life challenged me the hardest and I was the most imperfect person I could be. I think I�m a better person for conquering those challenges, and I think my imperfections give me character. When I was young (20 or so), my mentor told me that a clean house is a true sign of a boring person. What wisdom. She freed me from feeling like I had to be SuperWoman. At the time, I was juggling a live-in relationship, working fulltime, going to school at night and keeping up a household. I felt guilty if anything was less than perfect. Oh, the freedom she gave me with one simple sentence. And, every time I don�t get all the way through my list of �things to do�, I choose to think of myself as a pretty exciting person � not boring at ALL. Trust me, people don�t like a perfect reflection. Not of themselves or of anyone else. It�s life�s battle wounds and victories that make us interesting. When you rant, people sign up to listen. When you�re happy, people sign up to listen. That just is life. I think I'll go open my birthday presents now. your thoughts? seed flower