6:00 p.m. | 2002-09-19 Communications 101. I had to remove myself from the workplace today. I managed to make it for 2� hours before the pain became so excruciating that I could no longer talk properly. When I start communicating using my modified charades method, it�s time to pack it up, go home and take a pain killer. What�s my modified charades method? Well that when I talk to others using only a few key words, tons of exaggerated facial expressions and lots of hand signals. (I actually know sign language, but other people don�t so using it doesn�t get me very far.) Here�s an example: Usual Method: Hey Boss, I don�t feel good; can I go home? Modified Charades Method: Stand directly in front of my boss. Point at myself. Adopt a pleading facial expression. Say: �home?� Fortunately for me, my boss understands both methods. And, she also understands that, under such circumstances, it�s time for me to go home. So, I came home this morning. I took a pain killer notwithstanding the fact they make me sicker than ten pregnant women in their first trimester. No relief. I waited a while and took another one. Now, I�m twice as sick and still in excruciating pain. Okay then. That was a fun little exercise. I diligently checked my work voicemail every half hour until 5:00pm and I stayed near the phone in case my boss needed anything. Now, I�m free to move about. I could drive myself to emergency, sit around for a few hours and then beg for a shot of a real painkiller. But, I have a few problems with that idea. One, I�d have to drive while under the influence of the painkillers I�ve already taken. Two, I�d have to drive all the way across town in rush hour traffic. Three, I hate sitting in emergency for hours. Four, out of pure frustration and pain, I would probably cry in public. Five, if they did give me something, they wouldn�t let me leave until it wore off and then I would be right back where I started. I�d rather have them come over here and drug me up but, um, that�s not going to happen. Obviously, there are many alternatives which would eliminate the problems, but that�s just too much to deal with right now. So, I�m just moving on. I went ahead and did the laundry. Now I�m doing this entry. It�s taking me a long time and I keep messing up but I�m doing it. I�m okay. Yes, I�m in tons of pain, I have limited verbal skills and I keep falling down, but I�m home, I�m safe and I can do things at my own pace. It�s really about pain management at this point. I can handle that. Sure, I�m pissed that I�m in pain and want it to go away but I�m lucky that�s all it is. I did the important things. I removed myself from work. I took a couple of painkillers. And, I�m bitching about it all here in my diary. Now, I�m going to go read all your diaries until my hands hurt too much and I have to switch to watching TV. I hope you all updated today. If you did, you get bonus points for providing me with a few pain-free moments. Thanks, I really do appreciate it. your thoughts? seed flower