8:34 p.m. | 2002-10-09 I�ve Got To Stop Being Offensive. The other day, I was walking down the hallway and I had the following conversation with a woman (W) who works where I work but whom I don�t usually work with. (W:) You�ve been looking so thin lately and that�s a good thing. (Meaning: that�s a compliment.) (CI:) Well actually, I�m struggling to keep weight on at the moment. (W:) Oh, that�s a bad thing then, I guess. Now this particular woman is chronically on a diet to lose weight. She works hard at it. She really doesn�t need to lose weight, in my opinion. She looks great as is, but I realized that I probably just pissed her off with my unintended weight loss and commentary about it. To make it worse, I went to lunch today with Colleague (C) and Boss� former boss (BFB). At the moment, Boss and Colleague are both on a diet and BFB has recently lost 50 pounds by dieting and is trying to maintain his new weight. They wanted to go to a certain restaurant which has a low-fat meal deal thing. It also has other things. I didn�t want a low-fat meal; I wanted fat food, so to speak. I�m trying not to lose more weight. I debated about what to order because they�re dieting and I didn�t want to sit there and eat stuff they were really wanting right in front of them. However, if you�re serious about dieting, you have to deal with that type of situation all of the time as you just can�t make the whole world diet when you�re dieting. Alas, I was in a quandary. I asked C about it and he said I should just order what I wanted especially because I need to gain some weight. So I did. Could I just leave it at that? Oh no. BFB said something about what I was eating and I told him that I was trying to keep weight on. He said he hates people like me, so to speak. He knows that I have problems with my weight because of the fibro/meds so he also said that he would like to have that weight-loss part but not the other stuff (including pain and barfing). I told him that it�s actually scary when you just can�t keep weight on� it just the other end of the spectrum. Whenever you gain or lose weight too easily, it�s not a comfortable feeling. But, I realize that I need to keep those thoughts to myself because my comments, which are genuine and unintentionally offensive, are really not appreciated. I�ve probably upset some of you guys, but this is my diary and I�m writing about it because it�s really been bothering me that I�m being so offensive lately. And, it is really scary when you can�t keep your weight on. I hate forcing myself to eat now just as much as I�ve hated dieting in the past. I�ve been on both sides of the fence and neither side is a comfortable place. your thoughts? seed flower