12:44 a.m. | 2002-11-27 Take Up Joy When You See It. I�m not totally back yet, but I wanted to update. I�m doing fine. Or okay. Or whatever. I�m just grieving; I�m not going to have a mental breakdown, dissolve or spontaneously combust. I�m just going to grieve. As well I should. Mind you, I have a lot to say as a lot of things have transpired, but I�m just gonna share this for now. I received flowers from my workplace today. Beautiful flowers delivered by a very handsome young man. (I�m grieving; not blind.) I felt very touched and, frankly, burst into tears. Then I read the card. Here�s what it says. (Note: all the people from another division are dubbed AC.) With Deepest Sympathy. From Boss, Colleague, Outcast Colleague, AC, AC, AC, AC, Cher, and Security Guard. My first thoughts? �Well who in the holy fuck is �Cher� and why is she included? Is there a new intern? If so, why is she on the list as opposed to the student interns I actually know? This doesn�t make any sense.� Then I realized that �Cher� was a misprint and was actually a very dear AC. Sorry, but that made me laugh. I was crying and laughing. I sent Colleague an email to spread the thanks as I couldn�t talk without crying at the time. Later, however, I kept finding myself chuckling about �Cher� sending me flowers. And, how funny AC would find that. I finally emailed her; she thought it was funny too. It�s great to have such moments of levity during such a hard time. It�s difficult to have people constantly asking how you�re doing or if you�re okay. Appropriate, of course, but not a joy ride. I knew �Cher� would understand the laughing while you�re crying thing. And, she did. I can�t wait to show Boss and Colleague. Of course, that�s AC�s new nickname. Oh, to find humor amongst sorrow� what a beautiful thing. your thoughts? seed flower