6:57 p.m. | 2003-01-09 Girl Talk. In an attempt to blow my fucking mind, Bestest Girlfriend (BG) invited me to lunch today which resulted in me seeing her TWICE in the SAME week! Since she was abducted by my old law school, I consider myself lucky if I see her twice a year. That�s how law school is� I�ve been out for almost five years yet they always find a way to fuck with me. They steal my bestest girlfriend and then send me little ransom notes only they call them �requests for alumni donations�. Bastards. Like the $65,000 I already gave them just wasn�t enough. ANYWAY, I discovered some interesting things about myself while chatting with BG. Like this bizarre crap. (CI:) Gawd, I hate the assumptions guys make about you when you�re a 38-year-old woman who�s never been married or had children. (BG:) Like what? (She doesn�t know because she�s just a young child � 25 � albeit a very mature child.) (CI:) Oh they assume that all you want to do is marry their ass IMMEDIATELY in order to make some babies because your �biological clock is ticking� or whatever that shit is. When really, I�m happy just dating. I don�t wanna have babies and, well, now that I think about it, I�m not even sure I want to get married. (BG:) Why not? (CI:) I�m not really sure. I think I might be kinda scared of that whole �commitment� thing but I don�t really know because no one�s proposed in the last few years so I haven�t really been faced with that decision. I mean several of my exes told me that they were planning to marry me AFTER I left them but they didn�t share that information with me during our relationship. (BG:) Oh yeah, that desperate stuff� when they�re trying to get you back. (CI:) Yeah, it�s amazing what they say they were planning to do or what they will do if you just come back but I don�t do that back and forth thing. When I leave, I leave. I give them fair warning though, of course. (BG:) Well, what part about marriage do you think you wouldn�t like? Living together? (CI:) No, living together is fine. I�ve lived with a couple of men but see, living together is just a way to avoid that whole commitment thing because you know you can hightail it out the back door at any time. THAT�S the difference between living together and being married� it�s the commitment level. I don�t know� (BG:) Yeah, I don�t know if I�ll ever get married either� I like my alone time. (CI:) Oh good god yes! I have to have my alone time. Maybe that�s what�s changed. When I lived with men before, I was working fulltime and going to school so I had a lot of time alone. Well, I wasn�t �alone� but I wasn�t with them. I mean, we had a lot of time apart. (BG:) So, you�re not sure you want to come home from work and spend all day and night with someone and then spend all weekend long together? (CI:) Well, fuck, you don�t have to be so graphic about it! I hadn�t exactly thought about that yet. Wow. Shit. Yeah. I don�t know about all that. See, that�s why chicks talk all the time� we�re figuring shit out as we prattle on. We�re pondering serious life questions. And gossiping. Well, and just letting words dribble outta our mouths and into the air. In fact, we actually discussed how completely insane it is that we feel this great compulsion to share even the most inane, boring, tiny little details of our days with other people. Just like I do every day in my diary. Gawd, even I want to tell myself to shut up sometimes. So anyway, BG made some random comment about how she loves hearing about my exes because they make for such �interesting� stories. So I pulled this crap on her. (CI:) Here�s your Christmas present. I forgot to give it to you on Monday. (BG:) Oh how sweet. I didn�t get you anything for Christmas. (CI:) I know you didn�t because you�re in law school and you don�t have time for bullshit like that. (BG:) I feel kinda bad about it now. (CI:) Don�t because �you doing well in school is gift enough to me�. (Said in an overly dramatic parental voice.) (BG:) You sound just like my parents! (CI:) I know. In fact, you inviting me to lunch is gift enough to me. And lord, seeing you twice in the same week� that�s gift enough to me. (BG:) Stop it! What fun are friends if you can�t freak them out? your thoughts? seed flower