8:23 p.m. | 2003-04-23 Cruel Irony Walks In The Shoes Of Others. I had lunch with Younger Sister (YS) today. About once a quarter, she comes Downtown to the Mother Ship of her organization to give a presentation about, well, whatever it is she and her colleagues do for a living. I�ve always had only a vague idea about what it is she does at work. She�s involved in some sort of study regarding a particular fish. Whenever we meet for lunch, I�m always intrigued by the huge, rolled up, presentation papers she carries around. She looks like architect carrying around important and complex plans. YS has never shown me these papers because they�re large and rather awkward to handle over a small table for two. She�s always noted my intrigue though so, today she brought me a smaller sized copy of one of her papers. I absolutely love to gather data, analyze it and produce statistics, charts, graphs, etc. Imagine my glee when she handed me an exhibit which contained two different graphs. To say I was excited would be an understatement. Numbers, dots and pretty colors, oh my! I had some questions for her though as I had no idea what any of it represented. This is that. (CI:) What are all these dots? (YS:) They�re fish that we�ve tracked from particular hatcheries to ThisPlace. All the colored dots are hatchery fish; the black dots are wild fish. (CI:) (Looking at the legend.) How come all these places are called �hatcheries� but this one is called �a rearing facility�? (YS:) Because that facility is new. �Rearing Facility� is the politically correct term for �Hatchery� now. (CI:) There are politically correct terms for fish hatcheries? (YS:) Of course. (CI:) Well, this certainly isn�t politically correct. (YS:) What isn�t? (CI:) (Pointing.) Right here, where it says �fork length�. You measure these fish by fork length? (YS:) Of course. That measures the distance of the �fork� of the fish�s tailfin. It determines the size of the fish so we know how mature it is. (CI:) Oh, I thought �fork� meant a dinner fork. Anyway, I learned a lot more about what she does, and about fish. We then went on to discuss a particular legal case involving fish. Turns out that she works with some engineers who were involved in that case while I was a student of the presiding judge. (He�s a judge by day and law professor at night.) Small world. I went back to work and attended a mandatory training class to learn how to fill out a new form. (Yes, really.) For myself, this form will be easy to fill out because 99.9% of the new stuff doesn�t apply to me. However, we were required to do an exercise to learn how to fill it out properly if you work in certain divisions. Here�s what we were told. �The new requirements won�t apply to some of you but you�re going to have to pretend, for this exercise, that it does apply to you. That way, you can feel the pain that most of the employees are going to feel when they have to fill it out.� I figure it�s always good to walk a mile in someone else�s shoes, so I didn�t have a problem with �feeling the pain� of others. Plus, the majority of people that work within my hearing distance are going to have to do all this complicated shit, and I�m definitely going to hear all their bitching. So, I might as well know what they�re all talking about. I had to learn all these complicated codes and rules and whatnot. And, of course, I was the next-to-the-last person to finish the exercise. The last person is fairly new and it doesn�t apply to him either. We both required one-on-one assistance. Lots of �what does this mean?� questions. I walked away with a headache but very happy that most of it doesn�t apply to me. And, boy is there going to be A LOT of bitching! Quip of the day. (Colleague:) The NewHeadHoncho is �like a breath of fresh air�. (CI:) Don�t say that about him, Colleague. (Colleague:) I�m just quoting ThisLady. (CI:) Yeah, but when she says it, it sounds nice. When you say it, it just sounds wrong. And kind of creepy. your thoughts? seed flower