7:46 p.m. | 2003-08-18 They�re Crooked. My eye doctor�s office called me today to see if all is well with my new glasses. I told her that everything was fine except they needed a little adjusting. She told me I could just stop in and they�d fix that. So, I took a moment and went next door. Here�s that. (EDO:) Well, lets take a look. Hmmm. Your nosepieces are aligned and your earpieces look fine. What seems to be the trouble? (CI:) They�re, uh, crooked. (It�s been driving me nuts so I said that with a little exasperation. Like it was obvious or something.) (EDO:) Okay. Let me take another look. Oh, the left side is slightly higher than the right side. Here, let me fix that. She took my glasses and wandered off to fix them, leaving me standing in the middle of the lobby blind. To entertain myself, I �watched� people, through the front window, hustling about on the street outside. Since I couldn�t see anything, I appeared to be staring at people. At least, that�s what one guy thought. He walked right up to the window and made some gesture at me. I presume it was a rather rude gesture, but since I couldn�t see, I�m not really sure. Anyway, after a small adjustment, my glasses were no longer crooked. I headed back to work and ran into Boss in the hallway. This is that. (CI:) Hi Boss. I�m back. (Boss:) You were gone? Where�d you go? (CI:) I dashed next door to have my glasses adjusted because they were crooked. (Boss:) Oh, Cruel-Irony, it�s not your glasses, it�s your head that�s crooked. (CI:) Yeah, that�s what the lady kept saying too. Anyway, I�m all better now. Due to my Virgo nature, a little bit of crookedness throws off everything. I received a postcard from StepMom today. She�s enjoying her holiday in Australia and New Zealand. To whit: Having a good time in Australia and New Zealand. NZ is extremely beautiful. Last week we toured geothermal fields, a Kiwi house, sheep ranch and stayed at a M�ori Mora�. We also went luge sledding, rode Huka jets and climbed a volcano. The kids are great. I think that�s what it says anyway. I had a little trouble deciphering her handwriting, plus it has various postal stamps all over it. StepMom and I have somewhat of a cryptic communication system. She presumes that I know what�s going on in her life and what she�s talking about. (For example, I have no idea who the �kids� are. I don�t think she took her own with her but I wasn�t aware she knew any �kids� in Australia or New Zealand. And, she uses that term loosely � generally, it applies to anyone younger than herself.) I just play along. The important thing is that she�s having a good time and she took the time to send me a postcard. In this case, details are much less important than the connection itself. If any of my Aussie or Kiwi friends would like to explain to me what M�ori Mora� or Huka jets are, it�d be much appreciated. Finally, the second jinx that Colleague placed on me recently came to fruition last Friday. However, this time, I didn�t run into OurBoss at TheHotel. Instead I was snoozing away Friday morning, since I had the day off, trying to get caught up on my sleep when I was awakened way too early by the phone. It was Boss asking me to call OurBoss as he wanted some information pertaining to two of my files. After I hung up with her, I called him. (OB:) OurBoss. (CI:) Hi, this is Cruel-Irony. I heard you had some questions for me on these two files. (OB:) Are you sick? I know you have the day off, but are you sick? (Sounding alarmed.) (CI:) Uh, no. Um, it�s my� DAY OFF. See, I sound like shit when I wake up in the morning. It takes a hot shower, moving about and speaking several times before my regular congestion clears enough that I sound normal. Boss knows that; OurBoss does not. Did I clear my throat and practice talking BEFORE calling him? Uh, no. I was only semi-conscious. Hence, my little �day off� explanation only makes any kind of sense to me. Day off = sleeping in. In my little world anyway. If you wake me up, I�m gonna sound like shit. Well, and be pissed off. (OB:) I was wondering about this and that. (CI:) Well� uh, I don�t have my files in front of me at the moment, but to the best of my recollection, here�s this about that, and that about this. Do you need these right away? Do I need to come in today? (Note that I have about 200 files that I�m handling, I had just been awakened, and I was standing there naked. The only coherent thought I had was that I should definitely be back in bed sleeping, not discussing complicated files.) (OB:) Oh, no. Just have a nice day off and weekend, and call me about it on Monday. I swear if Colleague jinxes me one more time, there�s gonna be trouble. your thoughts? seed flower