9:53 p.m. | 2003-11-07 Oh Look, More Girl Talk. BestestGirlfriend (BG) and I went out to lunch today. We tried a new place. The sat us at a really tall table with tall chairs. And, we prattled on and on. As we do. Here�s some of that. (BG:) (Climbing up on her chair.) Hey cool! It�s like we�re all tall or something! (CI:) (Climbing up on my chair.) Shit, these things need seatbelts; I hope I don�t fall off. (BG:) Wow. It looks all different when you�re tall. I can see over the booths and stuff. (CI:) Yeah. (Hanging on to the table.) I�m not sure how this next segment started, but it resulted in a rather strange conversation. To wit. (CI:) I�m scared of pesticides actually. It�s a rational fear though. (BG:) What? You�re afraid they�ll kill you? (CI:) Not so much that. The smell alone makes me want to puke, but I�m not afraid of them when they�re just sitting there. I just don�t like to touch them. I�m scared that I�ll get some on my hands then touch my eyes� (BG:) And, they�ll burn up your eyeballs? (CI:) Yeah, something like that. I just don�t like to handle them. And, that they�ll hurt children, pets or the wildlife. In fact, I�ve only used them to kill snails. Because I HATE snails. And, damn that BASTARD who brought them here. (BG:) What bastard? (CI:) Oh, the snails here aren�t indigenous. Some bastard brought them here and now they�ve taken over the whole fucking state. I stopped using pesticides when I realized that the snails would always win. Those stupid, fucking sluggy snails. They just eat up every thing I plant. I HATE them. (BG:) I wonder how snails reproduce? (CI:) What? (BG:) Well, I just wonder sometimes, you know, how they reproduce. (CI:) Eeeww! I don�t know, but, hmmm, that�s an interesting question. I�ll have to look that up. Or maybe not. See, now you have me curious about all that. It�s kind of sick to even think about, yet it�s intriguing. Have you ever seen the mating rituals of the lion? (BG:) Um, no. (CI:) The big bad King of the Jungle, Head of a Pride, the formidable beast� yeah, well, the lion has the finesse of your average teenaged boy. (I said �average teenaged boy�; I wasn�t talking about you.) Just saying. Anyway, how�s school? (BG:) God, I HATE law school. I�m so ready for it to be over. You know, they�re so mean to you for the first two years, that it�s like showing up for a whipping every day. Then, all of a sudden, they�re all nice and stuff in the third year. Except, I�m still expecting a whipping. Damn it, I want my whipping! It�s confusing. (CI:) Yeah, I know. It was a little different for me because, you know, night students have to go for 4 years instead of 3, and we have to take classes in the summer too. It�s more of a gradual change. In the summer, professors tend to be more informal, and, during my third year, it was about a 50/50 split between niceness and torture. (BG:) The change is so weird. (CI:) I know. For the first two years they don�t use your first name and then, all of a sudden they do. I was like: �Hey Buddy, I�m not Cruel to you, I�m Ms. Irony�. It makes a person a little wary, you know. Like, why are you all being nice now? And, they�re like, hey we just tortured you for your own good; no hard feelings right? Yeah, hardee har, har, har. (BS:) Exactly. I want my whipping, not all this weird stuff. Actually, I don�t like the whippings either, but I expect it now. God, I can�t wait until this is over! (CI:) But, do you regret going to law school? (BS:) No, not at all. (CI:) Exactly. (BS:) You know, I don�t think I want to practice law. Well, I want to practice for at least a couple of years, just to give it a shot, but I know I don�t want to do this long term. I want a job that I can be passionate about. It just doesn�t seem �passionate� to work at a law firm. (CI:) Well, now you know one reason why I don�t practice law. I was so disillusioned, I didn�t even sit for the bar. Of course, I was working in the legal field at the time � much like you � so I had some sense of what it�s like. And really, when I looked around at my fellow students, I saw a bunch of overachieving, antisocial, neurotic people. I realized that the field was full of people like my fellow students. Strangely, I suddenly understood why most doctors don�t have any �bedside manners�. Same deal there. (BS:) Um, I�m an overachiever, neurotic and somewhat antisocial. (CI:) Of course, me too. Anyway, we had a great lunch and she dropped me back at work. I�ve started that whole job-hunting process. Fun, fun, fun. But, I�ve got a good start and several good leads. Change is good, right? Later in the day, I went over to Colleague�s office to fax something since people from other divisions suddenly took over all the fax machines in my vicinity in order to fax a bunch of paperwork to important people. Or some shit. I just know that it involved a lot of swearing and banging on equipment. I retreated to Colleague�s office. Here�s that. (CI:) Hey Colleague, can I use your fax machine? (C:) Sure. I might have to leave at any moment though. (CI:) That�s fine. (Locating the fax machine.) Why is the fax machine near the ceiling? Shit, I can�t even see the numbers. Argh, you tall people make it so hard. (Looking around for something to stand on.) (C:) (Answering phone, etc.) Hey, I have to go to a meeting now. Um, here� (taking a small metal wastebasket and upturning it in front of the fax) I�m not suggesting that you should stand on that or anything. I just thought it�d, um� look better over here. Remember, I�m NOT recommending that you stand on that or anything. (CI:) Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks. (C:) Lock up when you leave, okay? (CI:) Sure. I locked up when I left. Just saying. your thoughts? seed flower