1:23 a.m. | 2003-12-01 Did I Ever Tell You This? DearestSister, bless her heart, has a tendency to either vomit or giggle when she�s nervous, upset, anxious or uncomfortable. As do I. I think it�s a family trait. Hence, our appreciation of all things ironic. Ironically, irony always makes us either barf or laugh. Sometimes both. Occasionally, at the same time. It�s not something we�re proud of, yet we really can�t deny it. It just is. When StepMom picked me up, I noticed she had a new vehicle. After I was buckled up but before she started driving, she asked me if I was feeling �sick�. Confounded by the question, I giggled and said no. It was then that I discovered that DS barfed in StepMom�s new car. Fortunately, SM has figured out that family trait over the years and brought some �barf bags� along with her. Ironically, of course, I had packed a bag of food for DS knowing that she�d only be able to stomach certain things. I have to say that SM was very nervous when I handed DS the bag and DS started eating. See, I knew DS hadn�t eaten for a few days but could only tolerate certain foods. She did, there was no more barfing and things were good. DS and I were sitting in the back of the car, of course. Put cheap sunglasses on us and we�re good to go. I was intrigued by the car game that SM and Happy (DS�s youngest son) were playing. I�m not really sure about how it goes, but here�s what I learned about it. SM would make a list of things to look for along the way and every time Happy spotted one of those things, he�d get a nickel. Here�s some of that. (SM:) Okay, I�m adding a purple, semi-truck cab to the list. Know what I mean? Just the cab. It has to be purple. (Happy:) Like that one? (Pointing to a purple, semi-truck cab at the next intersection.) (DS & CI:) (Giggling away.) (SM:) Oh, I can�t believe this. Okay, here�s your nickel. I�m adding a pink semi-truck cab to the list. Pink. Do you understand what I�m saying? Not red, not purple� I mean PINK. Do you know what I�m talking about Happy? Pink. I mean, pink. Are you getting that? (Happy:) Yeah. That game went on and on. DS and I actually gave SM all our change to keep it up. It was a great diversion for Happy and it entertained us for the whole way up and back. And, there was a lot of giggling going on. In fact, every time someone asked me what I do for a living, or mentioned what I do � which every one did � DS busted out giggling. Which made me want to giggle, but I didn�t. See, I�d have to say what I do then explain that I�m being laid off. And, people asked a lot of questions about my work, and I had to straight-face it while DS was giggling her head off. But, that was better than barfing. Just saying. Oh, and I forgot my suit jacket when I left out. But, I did grab my leather jacket. So yeah, I wore a leather jacket to the funeral. However, I wasn�t the only one. Of course, the other ones were Ex-Brother-In-Law�s (XBIL) buddies. So yeah, I was the bad-ass chick. I guess. Then again, in addition to leather jackets, there were Hummers, flannel shirts, boots and tool belts, so I doubt that I stood out in any way. Well, outside of the giggling and stuff. One thing that was surprising to me was that I was on the picture board. See, the mortuary provided a magnetic picture board for them to display pictures. EldestNephew and his father�s family spent hours choosing photos for this board. They brought the final pictures to the mortuary and, ironically, they were in an adjacent room � and probably within hearing range � when I first looked at XBIL at the family viewing. In fact, DS and I wandered their way after that viewing. Not surprisingly, DS was in several pictures on the board. Surprisingly, I was in one of those. However, neither EldestSister nor YoungerSister were featured. Strangely, I have copies of those exact pictures. Actually, I believe they were taken with my camera. Those pictures were from after �the accident�. There was a lot of talk about �the accident� that DS and XBIL were in 20 years ago. I had forgotten about that time. See, DS and XBIL were in a very serious motorcycle accident. Out in the middle of nowhere. Thankfully, they were both wearing helmets � which they didn�t normally do. When DS came to, XBIL was unconscious, his helmet was split open and he was near death. DS crawled up an embankment and out onto a road where she laid down waiting for a car to come along. It wasn�t a frequently traveled road. The next person stopped though and drove to the nearest phone to call for help. It was before cell phones and 911 and all that. Eventually, they were air-flighted to the nearest trauma center. DS suffered a broken collarbone, a miscarriage of a child and lots of bruises. XBIL was in a coma for 22 days. After he was medically stable, he spent a year in a rehabilitation hospital learning how to walk and talk and all that. He was never the same again - head injuries tend to have that effect. Life went on. He walked and talked and whatnot. I have to say that his mother summed it up well at the funeral when she said that he never did learn to talk �right� again. He didn�t. She�s absolutely right about that. And, I think that�s one reason that I thought he looked way better dead than the last couple of times that I saw him. See, he was talking those last times. Yes, I do know that I�m going to hell for talking bad about the deceased. However, I�m quite sure that�s not the only reason I�ll be warming my feet at the fire down below. I have to say, though, that I cared about him much more than I thought I did. And, that my friend, is probably the most surprising thing. Okay. I�m done talking about death and whatnot. I promise. Well, unless someone else keels over. Ya just never know. You know? your thoughts? seed flower