11:04 p.m. | 2004-03-17 I Garnered Yet Another Title Recently. Where�s My Crown? Of course, it was all unofficial, and perhaps not sound, but I�ve been identified as the most �hydrated� person in the Department. You�d think that type of title would garner a crown, or perhaps, a tiara. But, no. While I haven�t been shunned outright, I�ve been blamed for raising the water club fees. And, they can just go on and ignore the fact that two other people have come aboard, and the strange fact that Colleague is now, suddenly, drinking water on a regular basis for the first time in his life, and put it all on me. I�ll bear the burden of excessive water drinking. It�d be better with a ribbon or crown or flowers, but whatever. I could be accused of worse things. Of course, they don�t know that I have to drink a ton of water in order for my meds to work right, so well� I won�t point that out because they�re just jesting. And, well, because I could be accused of worse things. Not that any come to mind, just that it�s a distinct possibility. Like, today when I insulted NewBoss. It was inadvertent, of course, but that shit happens sometimes. See, we (meaning Colleague, NewBoss, OMC and I) went to lunch again today. We invited other people, but no one joined us. NewBoss drove us to our lunch destination. That�s not really important outside the fact that I�m fascinated by the fact that his car has this warning beep thing that it does when he�s backing up. I need one of those. The beeping thing, not a NewBoss. Anyway, I noticed that it beeps more readily the closer you get to an obstacle. Here�s that conversation. (CI:) What does it do when you actually hit something? I�m just curious. (NB:) I don�t remember. See, when I backed up into that guardrail two days before my wedding, right after we bought the car? Yeah, don�t remember. I remember that it cost $17,000 to fix it though. (CI:) What? It doesn�t say: �You�re an idiot� at some point? (NB:) No, it doesn�t. But thank you for pointing that out. (CI:) Well, it should. I mean, I need that kind of thing. Especially when I�m parallel parking. I need lots of beeping, some idiot comments, and well, a driver perhaps. (OMC:) You know, that�s possible. That�d be fun� you know to �personalize� the messages. It�s already programmed to beep, so it can record things. Hmmm. I stopped contributing at that point because, you know, they�re all married and I was off on a tangent in my own mind about what all their wives would say, given the opportunity. You know? On a different note, UA had fresh flowers on her desk today. I�m so ready for spring it�s not even funny. Hence, I was fawning all over the bouquet. By accident, actually. I went to UA�s office to ask her about something but was distracted by the flowers. Then, I automatically leaned over to smell one. My nose barely graced a lily but it shocked me. Hard. At the very tip of my nose, which, apparently is very sensitive. The shock was so intense that my eyes started watering right away. This is that. (CI:) Ouch! (UA:) Did you hit your nose on the flower? Hey, why are your eyes watering? (CI:) It shocked me. I mean hard. Why is this place so electric? Man, it still stings. (UA:) You got a shock from a flower? Is that even possible? (CI:) I wouldn�t have thought so, but look, my eyes are still watering. (UA:) That�s funny. (CI:) Stop it. Just stop. I�m already crying� what more do you want? I was laughing so hard from being shocked by a flower � because I find that funny � that I did end up in tears. Happy tears. And, I�m quite pleased to say that NewBoss seems to like this laughing thing. It appears to be a foreign concept � albeit her has a great sense of humor � but I think he�s liking it. Lets hope so because I can�t live without laughing. your thoughts? seed flower