10:49 p.m. | 2004-05-03 The Irony Abounds. I watched the reality show [insert appropriate airline; feel free to be creative] tonight and was transfixed, in an ironic way, by the following exchange. Mind you, I�m paraphrasing here so if you want the exact transcript, I suggest you call the appropriate [airline; feel free to be creative] source. Frankly, it was the passenger who fascinated me. Here�s that. (BikerGuy:) Where is my bag? WHERE is it? (AirlinePerson:) Looks like your bag was sent somewhere else. (BG:) What?! How could you send it somewhere else? I�m attending my brother�s funeral. (I originally wrote �funderal�. Heh.) My bag contains VERY IMPORTANT FUNERAL THINGS. I need those things. (AP:) What�s in your bag? (BG:) You know, my chaps, my colors, my knives� you know, all the stuff you have to have to show respect. For god�s sakes, I rode MY BROTHER�S BIKE here. Are you on DRUGS?! (AP:) No, I�m not on drugs. (BG:) Do you guys do drug testing? Are the baggage people on drugs? I�m talking about my BROTHER�S FUNERAL! I need my bag. Obviously, SOMEONE is on DRUGS here. And, I swear to you, if I have to string those ironic beads together for you, just� well, nevermind. That�s even more ironic coming from me considering that, in the last six months, I attended a funeral that included many, many folks displaying their respect via hummers, tool belts and leather jackets. And, don�t even think that drugs and knives weren�t present. However, I don�t believe there were any chaps going on there. However, I�m not suggesting that chaps would be foreign to a �family� funeral. Neither am I suggesting that they would be there. Just for the record, I�m neutral on chaps. Much as I am on whips. In other news, I laugh-snorted in front of NewBoss today. And, don�t even try to pretend that you haven�t laugh-snorted before. Because, you have. Actually, I�ve laugh-snorted in front of NB countless times he just never noticed because I was in full-laughter mode and others were also laughing. This was just the first time he ever called me on it. But, today, at that moment, it was just me. And, it wasn�t so funny except to me. Really, trust me. Here�s what happened. (CI:) Hey NewBoss, you got a minute? (NB:) Yes, I have one minute. Just one. What is it you want? Hurry up, spit it out, and make it concise because I really don�t have time for your question. BUZZZZ. Time�s up. Sorry. What? You think I have a bunch of time? I don�t. You�re taking up my time. All of you are taking up my time. Why is it that you all work for me? I don�t have time for all of you. (CI:) (Snort-laugh.) (NB:) Did you just snort in front of me? (CI:) Yes. I did indeed. And, I still have the same question. (NB:) No snorting. (CI:) Whatever. Concisely, blah blah? (See, it was a quick question. Ironically, my question could�ve been asked and answered quicker if he�d had stopped at �yes�.) (NB:) Oh, blah, blah. And, no more snorting. (CI:) Whatever. Like I have any control over my snort-laugh. Please. Plus, he started it. He did. Really. There would�ve been no snorting had he just answered my rather dry, boring technical question right off the bat. But, I guess it was opposite day. That happens sometimes. When I arrived at work this morning (remember, I�m not a morning person), a gentleman who works in our building � still not sure who he works for � opened the door for me from this inside. As a side note, anyone opening the door from the inside is unusual, since you have to code in, and I really don�t know who he works for but I see him everyday. And, he greeted me this way: �Be still my beating heart. (Sigh.) You look VERY NICE today.� I took that as a compliment. I don�t really know what inspired that greeting, but yay for me for looking �very nice� today. That�s a good thing. In my book. My secret book of good things. Or that other book. Maybe I have two sets of books. Just sayin�. Anyway, I noticed that, when I approached our building this morning, NB was headed to MyOtherWorkPlace with a colleague in tow. I know the �look� hence I immediately flipped on my TV when I got to my office. Because I knew NB would be talking. Remember, I have special channels that you guys don�t have, so while it is TV, it�s special, and rather boring, TV. Albeit, it also broadcasts regular TV. Thankfully. I have to say that NB was great. Notwithstanding that fact, it became like a huge public flogging. Only, without the public part. And, NB wasn�t the floggee � so to speak. He was merely a participant in the whole debacle. Had he been able to speak freely, it would�ve been better. But, that how it goes sometimes. In other words, sometimes I go to work and get complimented on my looks while NewBoss goes to work and gets beat down for his oration. And, vice versa. It all works out in the end. Especially since we�ve both very attractive and articulate. According to me, anyway. Don�t forget though, I keep two sets of books. your thoughts? seed flower