5:36 p.m. | 2004-08-25 I�m Still Alive But I�m Very, Very Tired. Very. I haven�t been updating because NewBoss is trying to kill me by working me to death. It�s nothing personal � he�s also trying to kill all of my colleagues too. We�ve all been working 12+ hours, seven days a week for the last month or more. To be fair, it is our busy season. None of my colleagues have done this type of work before and a few of them just started a couple of weeks ago, so they�re really, well, screwed. When you�re working from 8:30am until 1:00am, it�s very tempting (or necessary) to consume caffeine. I can�t however because it interferes with several of my medications. My colleagues, who are all younger than me, can and do consume caffeine. A lot of caffeine. They guzzle 5-shot espressos and multiple cans of super caffeinated drinks. Unfortunately, one condition caused by fibromyalgia is chronic fatigue. In addition, 3 of the medications I take make me tired. While I slump around the office trying to stay conscious, my colleagues are bouncing off the walls. I�ll tell you this right now � I can�t keep up with them. I don�t even want to try. I just want to curl up under my desk and take a nap. Actually, what I�d really like to do is take a vacation. Speaking of vacations, I am taking this weekend off. It�ll be the first weekend that I�ve had off in months. I�m going out of town too. Just try and stop me. In case you were wondering what happened to Christmas in July this year, it was delayed until the last weekend of August. So I�m headed to DearestSisterTown this weekend for Christmas and my birthday weekend. That�s right. On Monday I will turn 40. I�m not particularly freaked out about it though. In fact, I�m ready for my forties. The thirties have been pretty good, but I think the forties are going to be more fun. Of course, I�ll have to stop working all these silly hours so I�ll have the time and energy to have fun, but our slow season is coming up and next year shouldn�t be so wonky. But speaking of birthdays and whatnot, a few of my colleagues are going to turn 30 this year and they are freaking out. In fact, one of my new colleagues turned 27 this week and I thought he was going to have a breakdown. Pretty much, all of my colleagues would like to turn the clock back and live the college years forever. I�m guessing that�s a pretty common wish amongst those whose bills were footed by their parents. However, for me, not so much. I have no desire to work fulltime and go to school at night for another 14 years. Um, no. I accomplished a lot in those years but it wasn�t really a bunch of fun. It was a hell of a lot of work actually. Anyway, I�m rambling. Here it is that I barely update and then when I do, I just kind of prattle randomly. So, 40. Like I said, I'm not freaked out about it. I�m a little surprised that so much time has passed, but that�s about it. In fact it didn�t bother me when I turned 25, 30 or 35. I�ve never had a problem with any of my birthdays. That kind of concerns me actually. I�m a little worried that I�ll have a major breakdown on some random birthday or maybe I�m so fucking old I�m just waiting for my age to catch up with me. Who knows? However, I will definitely take advantage of the fact that everyone makes a big deal about your 40th birthday. Extra hoopla is always appreciated. Cake, however, is not. I�ve already requested cinnamon rolls at work. We have cake at least once a month if not more due to someone having a birthday, baby, going away party or whatever. I hate cake. Nine times out of ten, it�s fricking chocolate too. I realized a long time ago that most people love both cake and chocolate, and it�s almost a mandate to have chocolate cake for any conceivable reason at work. So, for the last 22 years, I�ve cooperated with all that. I�d say that I�ve paid my dues and if I want cinnamon rolls, then I shall have them. Actually, I want nachos, but I know that�s pushing it a little too far. I knew I still had to request something sweet or there�d be a revolt. Cinnamon rolls seemed like a fair compromise. Not having much of a sweet tooth, I only have cinnamon rolls once or twice a year at best so it sounds kind of good. Having the day off sounds even better but there�s not a chance in hell that�s going to happen. Especially after having the weekend off. I don�t know what I�m thinking. Obviously, I�m sleep deprived so I�m just talking crazy. Well, I better get back to work. I miss you guys! your thoughts? seed flower