10:56 p.m. | 2005-03-19 Legacies. I spoke with someone recently who told me that their family has no skeletons, black sheep or addicts of any kind. That sounds wonderful and I�d like to think that it�s true, but I really doubt it. I�m guessing that any member who doesn�t toe the line is automatically shunned forever. Yet, I could be very wrong. Maybe this person has the perfect family. I only know what I�ve experienced. My lineage involves one of those perfect families. Or well, two of them, maybe. However, both my parents were black sheep. They took us kids and moved far, far away from all family members and raised us all up crooked, I guess. I mean that in an �improper� way, not in a criminal way, just to be clear. If an improper way involves strict behaviour rules, precise manners and religious teachings. Their main failings were that they �had� to get married, they bucked the family authority and they were mostly poor. By the time I was born, it was clearly understood that my family was not recognized as a branch on the family tree. We�d been pruned away. We still existed though, so that resulted in several moments when we were recognized, but it was always clear that our family was never going to be beneficiaries of the family will because of our deplorable behaviour. Having never known differently, I just believed that family only extended so far and it didn�t reach far enough to include us. It�s only been in the last few years that I realized that it was a role my parents put us in. Before that, I took it personally. That hurt. The part about how, no matter what I did, I�d never be part of the bigger family because the die had already been cast. My sisters and I were the prodigy of parents who had messed up. Without my family, the family as a whole was perfect. At least, that�s what people thought. I know because they (the other people) told me so. But, you know what? The people were very much wrong. It was all a fa�ade. On both sides of my parents� families. And, I have to say that I think each member of the bigger family is great. Do members have problems and whatnot? Of course, because they�re human. They�re fun too once you get past the fa�ade. What can I say? Fa�ades are nice to look at but no fun to live behind. So when I talk to that person who has the perfect family, I forgive (this is odd) them for looking at me with judgment in their eyes because I know there is no perfect family and it�s hard to live behind such a fa�ade. Easy to judge from that angle, but it�s a difficult position to maintain. your thoughts? seed flower