10:53 p.m. | 2005-06-09 Meeting GreatNephew. A quick recap for those not in the know. EldestNephew (EN) was dating a girl who ended up pregnant, they broke up, on the day EN was to take full custody, he found out he wasn�t the father, one year later, his ex-girlfriend gave up her parental rights and EN has full custody and is in the process of adopting GreatNephew (GN) who is now 18 months old. I met GN for the first time at Christmas in July [in June]. GN is absolutely adorable. No question about that. Yet, he�s a little odd. DearestSister (DS) had told me that he�s odd, but was unable to provide any further explanation. So, I ferreted out some history. His mother is an addict. That�s quite unfortunate. However, she doesn�t use when she gets pregnant and for a period of time after she has a child. (She has two other children that she previously lost custody of.) She appears to thrive on the attention she gets while she�s pregnant and while she has a newborn. Then, she goes back to using. And predictably, she started using again after EN left. For the year that EN didn�t have contact with GN, he was the saddest I�ve ever seen him. He struggled with the loss of GN. Struggled hard. Anyway, I found out that GN suffered great neglect during that year. He spent most of that time in a playpen living amongst other addicts and children of addicts. He received little attention and no stimulation. What makes him odd is that he�s way behind developmentally for his age. But, he�s catching up quickly. His development has been profound over the last three months � since EN has had total custody. It�s exciting to see actually, as he learns tons every day. He�s quite bright, good natured, curious and quite fearless when it comes to exploring his new world. However, GN is a little cautious and hesitant with people. There were a couple of family members he didn�t like at Christmas but fortunately, I wasn�t one of those people. He�s still learning about balance while walking and running so he�s wobbly. Quick as lightening though. Hence, he fell down the porch steps three times� he�s just learning how to go down stairs forwards rather than backwards. No hesitation though. And, as he was merely surprised rather than hurt when he fell, he only cried for oh, maybe, 30 seconds or so. Personally, I think he�s going to take after his grandma (DS) when it comes to learning in the sense that he�s going to learn a lot of things the hard way. Like, how to navigate the stairs. Trust me, she was fearless � and thick-headed � about such things too. Still is sometimes, actually. GN is also a little bow-legged and pigeon toed but that condition seems to be correcting itself the more he walks. I�m guessing he previously spent a lot of time sitting and wasn�t able to properly work his legs and they became somewhat bowed. The coolest thing is that GN is developing rapidly now. The saddest thing is that he occasionally whimpers. A true whimper. He�s not a whiner. His whimper? One of the most heartbreaking noises to hear. Meanwhile EN, at the ripe old age of 23, is learning that single parenting is, um, stressful and not easy at all. He�s not about to give up, not at all. EN loves GN with all his heart. In fact, he smiled and laughed for the first time in a year when he gained custody. Just that he didn�t realize that it�s so hard to parent a child alone. He gets tons of support from DS, Happy (his younger brother) and Stepmom. Well, and from the rest of the family but we�re not local. But DS, as a single parent of two, makes it look easy. She�s a fantastic mom and has finely toned single-parenting skills. I must say though, that I remain awed at the fact that EN decided to adopt this child of his heart � who is not biologically related � and become a single father at such an early age. He�s doing good too. Really good. your thoughts? seed flower