10:49 p.m. | 2005-08-14 Oh The Mire Of Self-Discovery. Might As Well Be Quicksand. I always wanted to be an archeologist. Digging around in the times gone past. I haven�t achieved that goal yet that hasn�t stopped me from digging. However, my sifting has been relegated to my own psyche. The latest thing I�ve dug up? Yeah, I�d like to bury that again right quick and walk away. See, my recent jaunts amongst my many characteristics have revealed another huge flaw. And, there�s no easy way to say this, so I�ll just say it. I�m a KNOW IT ALL. Ouch. I believe that�s one of those universally despised characteristics. I certainly don�t enjoy suffering a KNOW IT ALL. But, I am one and I have to LIVE with me so the suffering is endless. Fortunately, I discovered this some time ago so I�m in the process of correcting this irritating trait. Hence, I�ve discovered, once again, that I really don�t know too much. And, I�m wrong A LOT. For example, I don�t know what things cause a person to become a KNOW IT ALL, but I have some ideas. Absolutely, it originates from insecurity. I think that it also stems from trying to please � being a people pleaser. Ego certainly plays a part. (Again, that�s insecurity.) And in my case, being a deductive analytical thinker definitely adds fuel to the fire. None of those things make it an attractive trait by any means. It�s just ugly. For now, all�s I can do is work through it all. Let�s hope that characteristic vanishes and is replaced by, say, charisma. That�d be nice. In other mundane news, I stopped by a deli today to get some lunch. Being mindful of my new �I need to lower my cholesterol diet�, I ordered a chicken sandwich. Here�s that. (DeliGuy:) Can I help you Miss? (Miss instead of Madam, right on as I�ll be 41 this month.) (CI:) Sure. I�d like a chicken sandwich. (DG:) Would you like cheese on that? (CI:) No thank you. And, no mayonnaise or� dry bread please. (DG:) No cheese? (CI:) No thank you. (DG:) No mayo or anything? (CI:) No thank you. (DG:) Do you want onions, tomatoes, pickles and lettuce? (CI:) Oh, yes please. (DG:) You want extra veggies? (CI:) Sure. (DG:) Whenever someone doesn�t order cheese, I like to give them extra veggies. It just seems right. (CI:) It�s certainly appreciated. He really did seem confounded by the fact that I didn�t want any cheese on my sandwich. And honestly, it had nothing to do with my cholesterol diet � I just hate cold cheese on any sandwich. I love the extra veggies though. And, speaking of veggies, this week I�m having vegetarian breakfasts. One of my favorite dishes actually. It�s an eggplant, tomato and cheese (nonfat) dish. A baked dish. Midwesterners would call it a casserole. It�s chockfull of fresh basil and dill rye bread �crumbs�. So tomorrow I will know nothing and I will eat a vegetarian breakfast. And, I will consider this good progress towards a much less irritating personality and a healthy heart. But, in my dreams? I�ll consider it charming. And, I must thank all of you who left comments regarding marriage. All very worthwhile and quite knowledgable. Lots to ponder and consider. I can't really say that I'm surprised by all your wisdom, because you're all people I know to be smart... but, I can say that you impressed me greatly by your keen ability to focus on what's really important. Thank you once again. your thoughts? seed flower