9:56 p.m. | 2005-08-23 Racism. There's No Nice Way To Say It. Mostly Because It's Not Nice. I haven�t written here for a spell because I�ve been disturbed about a recent utterance. A racist remark laid down casually by someone, whom by nature, I had a relationship with but haven�t had for a long time. I�m trying to mend some broken ties. And, I feel an obligation to repair this broken relationship. Mostly because everyone else thinks that I should. I know the person so I�m not so keen on that whole thing, but I gave it a go. I tried. For the record, this is a family tie, not a friend or a romantic relationship. Which makes it all the more disturbing. I�m trying to re-connect and I encounter racism? Not a good sign. Obviously, we�ve gone separate ways and frankly, I have no interest in connecting with any family member who is racist. Worse is that, had I called that person on the comment made? That person would�ve been shocked that I considered it racist and wouldn�t have been able to understand why it was. True disconnect there. What a huge disappointment. Here I am trying to undo past damage, and quite willing and forthcoming in acknowledging that my past behavior played a part, yet I�m encountering something so repulsive that I�m not sure I can work past that. Especially when it�s so insidious that it�s considered �normal�. It�s not �normal� by any means and I hate it. HATE IT. Which is all fine and good, but where do I go from here in mending this relationship? Speaking of mending relationships, this month has been all about that. Two encounters went very well, much as I expected. This third encounter, which I had high hopes about, went straight into the ditch and the racist comments were only the beginning of that huge flop. I have a fourth encounter scheduled for next week and now, I�m not so thrilled about it. This is hard work. Absolutely. And, I�m quite ready to throw in the towel, but I won�t. I�ll see it through. Good or bad. Notwithstanding that we�re in our super-duper busy season at work right now. Chores and whatnot are all falling by the wayside as I spend extra hours working and trying to mend these relationships. All while that one particular racist remark runs repeatedly though my mind. Makes me mad every day. Every single day. On another note, in less than a week, I�ll turn 41. And, I must say that I LOVE my 40�s. I get sassier every week, but next week? Watch out. your thoughts? seed flower