10:31 p.m. | 2006-02-02 Memorable Moments. What are the five most memorable moments of your life so far? Mine? Here they are. 1. The very first time my parents talked about getting divorced. I was ten years old. My parents didn�t express anger. Outwardly at least. Lots of passive-aggressive stuff, I suppose. However, they kept it away from us kids as much as possible. Kinda. Kids can read tension real well, you know? When I was ten though, my parents fought. Not in front of us, mind you, but they obviously had. The argument? Ancient. We had moved to a new house in a new state and MyMother had bought wallpaper for the master bedroom. MyDad promised to hang it. After a year and a half, it still wasn�t hung. The result? I remember sitting at an outside picnic table where my parents announced that they were getting divorced. They then proceeded to �divide� the children. (Personally, I think they drew straws to see who had first choice.) Two children for MyMother; two children for MyDad. Two different destinations � state wise. Except, when it was all said and done, they didn�t split. From zero fighting to divorce? A wee bit fast for us kids. The wallpaper? Straight into the trashcan. And, that�s how it continued for years. Both my parents avoided confrontation as much as they could. When it happened? They threw it away. The divorce stuff? It transpired in increments. But it started that day when I was ten years old. Accomplished by the time I was sixteen. No surprise then. More damage perhaps, but no surprise. 2. When I was raped as a teenager. I have forgiven and forgotten. Don�t get me wrong... I remember what happened clear as day, but I�ve forgotten how that makes me less of a person. His bad, not mine. 3. When I graduated law school. The one and only graduation � outside of high school � that I actually attended. There were two others that I blew off. Law school though? It was tough. It was very tough. I was proud of myself when I walked across the stage. Then, I promptly blew it off. 4. When MyDad died. It�s singular, you know, when an immediate family member dies. You really can�t replace them. A parent, sibling, child. It�s hard. I�ve experienced a lot of death in my life � and MyDad�s death was followed by five more family members within one year � but his death? The most startling. I learned a lot in my life from MyDad, but I learned a lot more from his death. Do I miss him? Yeah, way more than I ever thought I would. 5. When I stopped being a victim. That probably took the most work. Incredible pay-off though. Being introspective helped, but wow, that shift in my mind really set off a chain reaction. My whole outlook is different and will always be different. Most importantly, I�ll never be a victim again. The fact that I can say that with assurance is remarkable. Amazing. Perhaps some people measure me by my humble abode (an apartment), my job (it�s a service job when you get down to it), my fashion (getting better every day), or my car (decent transportation but, yeah, not so impressive). I care not. My life has taken a turn that I never expected and I�m so thrilled about it. I do notice though that three of the five things listed above are about loss. I�m not surprised because I think loss is a big thing in life. The sad thing to me is that I�ve spent way more time and energy on dealing with losses than I have on celebrating my gains. My gains? Typically, I�ve blown them off. Not so much anymore. The losses are unfortunate for sure. But the gains are so very sweet. Memorable moments. To say the least. What are your five most memorable moments of your life? your thoughts? seed flower