10:44 p.m. | 2006-03-04 Mediocrity. Last night BestestGirlfriend (BG) and I went to the threatre to see a production of Amadeus. Of course, we met for dinner beforehand. Where we discussed all kinds of things which could, mind you I said could be folly for the theatre. Our dismal dating histories are merely one example. It�s always good to see BG. Along with our penchant for interrupting each other, we also share the ability to knock each other over just randomly. Really, we shouldn�t be in the same space ever except that our minds always seem to be on the same page. Hence, we enjoyed a delightful dinner full of rapid-fire conversation replete with apologies for causing some random sort of bodily injury. It�s almost like we�re magnets that attract and repel each other to the same degree. One minute I�m hugging her and the next moment I�m bumping her into traffic. And, she does the same to me. If we were both gay, we�d be married � or well, just living together I suppose � but we�re not. Just bestest friends like nine year olds or something. Albeit, I have to admit that we�re each other�s back up plan. You know, if we never find that special guy, we�ll throw in the towel and, I guess, live with each other. Whatever. She totally rocks � that much I know � and I�ve pretty much convinced her that she just has to attend the next Con. If she does, you can all figure it out yourselves. Anyway, we went and watched a production of Amadeus. I first saw Amadeus as a movie. This is my second trip to a theatre production of this particular story. And, it�s been a while since I�ve watched it in any form. Being where I am now, the age I am now, the sheer, raw humanity captured within this story is huge. That�s what we both noticed. We�re both at a point where all that humanity resonates. Quite strongly, actually. For me, it resonates here even. Right here... within the online diary thing. Unlike Salieri, I never begged God to give me the ability to write to a level where I would achieve fame. I never swore to live a rather chaste live in return for such a gift. However, I relate to Salieri in many ways. The gifts that I was born with are rather pedestrian. I excel at academics (boring), organization (boring), and communication (boring). So much I wanted to be gifted with dance, artistry or craftsmanship. Something exciting. Over the years, I�ve learned, through other people, that my particular gifts are valued by a lot of people. That concept blew me away, but I do understand the practicality of my rather mundane skills. Still, my skills are just not exciting. That�s evidenced by my writing here. I am particularly skilled at writing technical stuff. I�ve made a living out of that skill for more than twenty years. But here? Yeah, not so much. One of the reasons I came here actually. I started this diary to try to develop creative writing skills. To add exciting and entertaining dimensions to my ability to put words to paper. Yeah, not so much. However, I realized after seeing Amadeus this time that I do have another skill. One that I share with Salieri. Much like he had an ear, and understanding, for complex, beautiful and flawless musical compositions, I have an ear, and understanding, for complex, beautiful and flawless writing. An eye too for that matter. (Mostly an eye as no one reads diary entries to me.) When I read Trance, Weet or LA, for example, it�s like a symphony for my brain. All the words are strung together perfectly to relay a thought, a feeling or an idea. It�s music for my mind. The kind of music that I can�t create via words. That�s just not my gift. After the play, BG and I talked about all that. Understanding other people�s gifts and appreciating them while at the same time appreciating our own. Oh, and that life is horribly unfair sometimes. (Generally speaking, that�s always a good lesson to learn early on.) Unfair or not, I�m happy with my gifts. For every gift you�re given, you�re also given a challenge. The greater the gift, the greater the challenge. At least it seems that way to me. I can�t honestly covet Trance�s writing prowess because if I did, I�d also have to accept her health issues and all the other things she contends with. The fact that she�s a hugely gifted writer seems lost to her. I think that�s common. I don�t think we ever really know what effect we have on the world. But what I do know? It takes all kinds. The single most important gift Salieri had, in my opinion, was his ability to fully and truly appreciate the musical genius of Mozart. For every piece of art, not matter the genre, someone should always be there to appreciate it. To fully get it. If that�s your talent? Recognize the value of that skill. Of having the ear, the eye, the heart or the mind to fully appreciate another�s talent. That�s a gift. At least to me. And, the guy who portrayed Mozart in the play? Acting is his gift. Truly. I hope he knows that. your thoughts? seed flower