10:56 p.m. | 2006-03-02 PostCon Blues. I look forward to AnyCon much like a meth addict seeks the next fix. The more you attend, the more addictive it becomes. There�s the first time. When you�re all nervous. Will anyone even talk to me, recognize me, give me the time of day? I guess the first time is a lot like junior high. At least for me. I was jacked around a lot in my early education. Lots of new schools every couple of years. When you�re in grade school, friendship is easy. You can bond over an invisible can of cootie spray. As you age? Not so much. The cootie can is best left behind at some point. But, if you make an effort � like say �hi� to someone � it works. It really does. I learned too late that, basically, all people just want to be liked. That would�ve been good to know in those early years. However, I forget that often. Like, at every Con. Every JournalCon, every WeetaPieCon.... or any day really. What I love about the Cons is that you really can turn around and say �hi� to anybody. Seriously, anybody. And, it�s all good. Sometimes, in fact, I�ve turned around and said �hi� to someone who was not connected to the Con, and it was good. That�s when I remember that everybody just wants people to like them. To be included. But the Con? It�s amazing. You can actually turn around, say �hi� and then sleep in the same room that very night. It�s the safest place you could ever be. Ever. Which is why I always find it funny that I get nervous beforehand. It�s a fricking love fest for goodness sake. Truly it is. And not without cause. The best, the very best people in the world? They�re at the Con. Honestly, they blow me away. If you�ve not been able to attend a Con, it�s most certainly not because you�re not one of the coolest people in the world. Usually? It�s about finances, logistics or schedules. Anyone who wants to attend � anyone who thinks it�d be a good time � those are people I want to know. It�s odd too. That we talk about it. Or at least I do. With other attendees. I attempt to break it down to the core elements that make such an event so very awesome. Yeah. I�m lost for words. Originally, it seemed important to me to make it make sense in my head. Not anymore. Because it never will. It�s just awesome and there's no explaining it. I accept that now. Granted, it�s one of the weirdest things in my life (as far as logic goes) but it�s absolutely one of the most rewarding things I�ll ever experience in my lifetime. That may be extreme and maybe that�s just me, but the connection I feel with everybody who�s there? It�s deep on a level that�s beyond my daily life. There�s a magic to it that I never thought I�d ever find. So there�s a let down when I come home. One that I move past, but still. To be surrounded by people who love you one day and to not be surrounded by them the next day? Ouch. (Not that I believe that everyone loves me at the Con; it�s still real life � but no one puts that in my face at the Con.) It�s like a huge down pillow that�s perfectly stuffed. It�s the most comfortable spot in the world. At least to me. Then again, I don�t have a mate, children or a pet. So what�d I know? I�m particularly ignorant I suppose. But the Con? It just is that great. Thank you, all of you, for making it that way. For making it be the best place I could ever be. your thoughts? seed flower