9:40 p.m. | 2002-06-18 I Try To Do My Part. Ya know, I love to make cashiers smile or laugh. Been there, done that. It's a thankless job. Sometimes my dry wit is appreciated and somtimes it isn't. Tonight it was. I stopped at the nearest combo store - not a convenience store but yet not a grocery store. But not a great big combo store. That means it's kind of a quick, convenient stop but not quite. I approach the only open register line. There's some dispute between a consumer and the store personnel. One that requires three store people to consult with each other which annoys the consumer. Apparently, he's trying to pay for a purchase with an out-of-town check. That's apparently against current store policy. Consumer is insolent and demanding; store personnel are doing their best not to tell him where to go. (We'll call that consumer AC: Angry Consumer.) The threesome splits up. One goes back to AC, one wanders off and the other goes to a different register. I change lines and go to the other guy (who happens to be the on-shift manager). He tells me he's closed and sends me back to the AC line. Now, there are two more people trying to line up at this one register but there really isn't room to line up. I'm now consumer #4. (I'll go by CI: Cruel Irony.) CI: (To consumer #3: C3) I'm trying to be behind you but I can't actually get behind you. C3: That's okay. Weren't you already here before? CI: Yeah, then I went over there but that guy told me he wasn't open so I came back. (Looking over at the guy who is now open and helping someone else.) But, apparently, he's open now since he's helping that lady. C3: (Looking over there.) Oh my god! He told you that he wasn't open but is now helping someone else?! CI: I guess he just wasn't open for me. C3: (Walking off.) AC: Well, I always shop here and you always take my checks but I'm never going to shop here again. And, I'm not going to buy this from you. You people are freaks. And, I WILL NEVER SHOP HERE AGAIN! (Walks off all indignant.) Cashier: (Starting to help C2.) You aren't going to pay by an out-of-town check are you? (Looks distressed.) It's my last day and it's just been problem after problem today. C2: Why, yes, I am going to pay with an out-of-town check. Cashier: You're joking right?! Please say you're joking. Please don't do this to me. It's my last day and I only have 13 minutes left. C2: I'm not joking. CI: Oh, we're planning on making your last 13 minutes the worst minutes we can. In fact, I plan to pay with an out-of-state, third-party check. (I'm just commenting from the peanut gallery.) Cashier: (Looking REALLY distressed and still addressing C2.) Please, please tell me that you're not going to pay with an out-of-town check. (Cashier looks at C2's check and grabs it, holds it up like an Oscar award and shouts) Look, it's a LOCAL CHECK!! (He high-fives another employee and does some funky little dance.) Yay! All right! I pay with my ATM card, of course. Not writing a damn check out. And, I'm saving my cash for some less acommodating establishment. My transaction transpires rather normally. Except, for the first time in my life, I accidentally scan one of my items while placing it on the counter. And that was really cool. It felt kinda powerful, but only from a consumer point of view. It wouldn't feel so powerful if I was a cashier. Then it would be rather mundane. CI: (To cashier.) I accidentally rang up this item. See I'm just trying to help you by checking my own self out. (Funnier when ya get the pun, which was truly unintended.) I made him smile and laugh. And, I'm glad. I hope I made his last 13 minutes more enjoyable. Wonder what he's gonna be doing next. your thoughts? seed flower