9:09 p.m. | 2002-08-13 I�m Ignoring My Pain for the Moment. When you have chronic pain that is really painful, how do you ignore it? Well, it�s kinda of like ignoring a bored child who�s hell-bent on irritating you with random chatter. You tune out the majority of it, but keep an ear out for anything that�s alarming � like when your child becomes quiet all of a sudden. I distract myself with other things like doing a diary entry. When it comes to pain, a lot of my coping methods are of the �smoke and mirrors� variety. I guess you could say that I create illusions. Well, without the super-cool special effects and dramatic drum rolls. That�s where humor and laughter play a huge part. When I�m laughing huge, belly-laughs, I forget I�m in pain. And, thanks to the fact that I also have cognitive blinks, I have learned that I can unintentionally do and say some damned funny things all by myself. Hence, I have truly learned the value of laughing at myself. That�s important since I don�t have a bumbling spouse or an adorable little child that says the darndest things. Alas, I have to entertain myself. And, sometimes, I excel at that. (PG means �professional guy� � someone I talk to at work in a professional capacity of one sort or another � not a person who knows that I have occasional cognitive blinks.) (CI:) (Trying to call a particular person on the phone but actually calling someone else.) (PG:) Hi, this is so and so. (CI:) Oh sorry, I have the right number. (PG:) What? (CI:) Well, I wasn�t trying to call you but I didn�t dial the wrong number. I mean, if I was trying to call you I called the right number but I was trying to call someone else. So, I guess I have the right number but the wrong person. (PG:) Um, okay� (CI:) Sorry to bother you although I always enjoy talking to you but really, I didn�t mean to call you� Um, bye. (PG:) Bye? (CI:) (Hanging up and busting out. Did I jut say: �Sorry, I called the right number?�) Thank god I�m easily entertained. And, yes, I�m quite sure that there are people out there who think I�m really weird, or maybe �eccentric�. (I�m getting older now and am single. When you�re older, single and act weird eventually you�re classified as eccentric. I�m almost 38 so I�m probably still just weird.) Here�s another example. (CI:) Well, I haven�t talken to� um spoken to� um let me start over. Lord, I can�t even speak right and it�s only Tuesday. It�s going to be a LONG week! (Chuckling.) (PG:) What school did you go to? (Chuckling.) (CI:) XYZ SCHOOL OF LAW! (Laughing now.) (PG:) Really? I�m quite impressed. (Laughing harder.) (CI:) Well, apparently, they forgot to teach me basic grammar. (Laughing harder.) Anyway� Trust me, I could go on and on with examples. I think these cognitive blinks are good for me. They keep me very humble and it proves that you can have a juris doctorate degree and still talk like a first-grader. See now, I forgot about all my pain while I was writing this. Works like a charm I tell ya. your thoughts? seed flower