3:09 p.m. | 2002-12-08 Another Loss. Younger Sister�s father-in-law died last night. He had cancer and had been sick for some time. That, of course, doesn�t make the loss any easier. I only met him once so I didn�t really know him. But my brother-in-law was very close to him as was Younger Sister. What I keep thinking about is how Younger Sister and her husband both lost their fathers within the last two weeks. And Baby Nephew lost both of his grandfathers. I can�t imagine what they�re going through. I�m fearful that my father�s sister, my favorite aunt, is next. She�s had incurable, inoperable cancer for over ten years now. When it flares up, she does the whole chemo thing. If that�s not enough, her husband, my uncle, also has incurable, inoperable cancer which he�s been battling for a few years now. He�s currently undergoing chemo again and doing better. For my aunt though, it doesn�t look good. Her doctor said to make each day count. I think my father�s death kind of shook up my cousins. And, now their mom might die soon. Needless to say, I�m having a hard time getting into the holiday spirit. I could give a rat�s ass about Christmas shopping, decorating or singing carols. However, getting shitfaced on eggnog sounds pretty damned good. Well, maybe not on eggnog but you get my drift. I gotta do something to get out of this funk. Winter Solstice is in two weeks and I�m looking forward to that as I think of it as the beginning of the return of the light. One step closer to Spring. God, grieving sucks. your thoughts? seed flower