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5:01 p.m. | 2002-12-24
Cars & Kids. I only worked a half-day today so I had made arrangements to have lunch with Younger Sister and Baby Nephew. (Younger Sister commutes to work in MyTown, Baby Nephew goes to her workplace childcare/school and she also worked a half-day today.) Anyway, I left work, got shuttled to my car and drove to the restaurant to meet them. While driving, I flip on the heat. Cold air came blowing out of the vents. What the fuck? I continue driving and right before I get to the restaurant, I noticed that the temperature gauge was dangerously close to the scary red zone. What the fuck? (Let me just say that it�s about a 2-mile drive from my parking lot to the restaurant.) While I�m sitting there freezing, my engine is toasty warm. A little too toasty. Now, I�ll just blatantly confess that I�m ignorant about all car-related things. By choice. I know that�s probably some sort of crime, but there it is. So, here�s my very logical approach to this little car problem, albeit that it�s a more suitable approach to little baby problems. (CI:) (To self.) Why is my car acting all fussy? Is it hungry? I�ve got a quarter-tank of gas so it�s not starving. Is it thirsty? Oh my GAWD! When was the last time I put water in the radiator? Hot engine, cold Cruel-Irony� oh, I better check that out. I pulled into the restaurant parking lot, turned off my car and flipped open the hood. Well, look at that, almost no water at all in the little radiator container thing. Yikes! For temporary relief, I poured the rest of my drinking water in the container. Then I gathered all my stuff up and started towards the restaurant when I looked back and realized that I left the hood up. Lord, this car stuff never ends! I go back, drop the hood and for good measure, wrote myself a note to put water in the radiator. I met up with Younger Sister (YS) and Baby Nephew (BN) inside. When the hostess went to seat us, she handed BN two crayons. He immediately looked up at her, smiled and said: �Thank you�. She was taken aback and asked his age. YS told her that he�s 2�. Apparently, polite children are the exception nowadays. Here are some lunch highlights, quips and quotes. (BN:) Momma, look! (Pointing at a cop.) What�s that? (YS:) That�s a policeman. (BN:) Oh. Poweeceman? (YS:) Yes. Policeman. (BN:) Poweeceman. Mr. Policeman got all choked up by this sudden attention. Oh wait, I mean, Mr. Policeman started choking. And coughing and coughing and coughing. There were two women sitting behind us and finally, one of them asked him if he was okay. Here�s that. (Lady:) Are you okay? (Cop:) Yes, (cough) thank you. (cough) It just went down (cough) the wrong way. Why? (cough) Do you know (cough) CPR? (Lady:) No, that�s why I was asking. If you�re not okay, I figure we better call for help now because we can�t help you. (Cop:) (Laughing.) I�m okay. *** �There�s a football in that book!� (Baby Nephew spotting a man who was reading the newspaper sports page; there was a picture of a football player catching a football. Baby Nephew has a new passion for sports.) *** Now Baby Nephew is a very well-behaved toddler but as he is only 2� and an only child, he tends to want to be the focus of attention, so every time Younger Sister and I were talking he would start saying one of the two following things. Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma. Cruel, Cruel, Cruel, Cruel. Normally, I would find that annoying but Baby Nephew is sooo cute! Okay, it�s still a little annoying but not unusual for a wee one. Younger Sister or I would usually respond by saying: �Yes, Nephew?� (Well, except we used his actual name, of course.) But I tried the following little experiment. Cruel, Cruel, Cruel, Cruel. Nephew, Nephew, Nephew, Nephew. Yes, matter of fact, I did leave him speechless. That�s one of the fun things about not having children � you can try little experiments with other people�s because you haven�t played these games a thousand times so you don�t really know what the rules are. You can improvise. Baby Nephew�s speech is really good although his enunciation isn�t always clear and he smashes his words together. Not atypical, but challenging since I don�t see him everyday. Well, and I don�t watch Blues Clues. Hence this. (BN:) (To me while staring intently into my eyes.) Thewigmewicalmoovie!!! (Raising his eyebrow and expecting a response.) (CI:) A movie!! How exciting! (YS:) (Translating.) It�s Blues Clues Big Musical Movie. (CI:) (To BN) Blues Clues Big Musical Movie?! (BN:) Yay! (CI:) And here I thought you were talking about The Nutcracker Suite! (For whatever reason, Younger Sister found that hysterically funny.) *** There was counting and ABC�s too! Actually, it�s really cute because he does both verbally and using American Sign Language (ASL). We all grew up knowing ASL so it�s only natural that Younger Sister would teach Baby Nephew too. He knows all his ABC�s verbally; his fingerspelling is a little off (trouble with the thumbs), but recognizable. He can count from 1 to 20 (signing as well) and from 20 to 1. He also does a �phonics� version of the alphabet utilizing animals (e.g., Allie Alligator, Buster Bear, etc.). This version contains �signs� also but not ASL signs. This confused me. Actually, what confused me the most was that he was just sitting there and then suddenly busted into this recitation at rapid-fire speed while gesticulating wildly. It was hysterical. *** (BN:) Cruel eyes boo. (CI:) Yes, my eyes are blue. What color are Momma�s eyes? (BN:) Momma eyes boo. (CI:) What color are your eyes? (BN:) (Trying to look at his own eyes and failing.) Nephew�s nose! (Said while pointing at his nose.) Just for the record, we all have the exact same color of eyes; it runs in the family on my Dad�s side. *** Number of conversations Younger Sister and I started that were never finished: 33,759. Well, approximately that many. *** Oh, and what about my car? We said our goodbyes and I hopped in my car. (Remember I had put the rest of my drinking water in it.) I flipped on the heater and Voila! Heat gushed from the vents! I stopped by the gas station, filled the tank, came home and filled the radiator. Apparently, cars get hungry and thirsty too.
your thoughts?
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