8:00 p.m. | 2003-02-07 Is It Memorex Or Is It Real? I mentioned yesterday that Bestest Girlfriend (BG) invited me to lunch today. Her law school class was cancelled today and she doesn�t work on Fridays so she was free to move out and about in the world. To take full advantage of this, which is nothing short of a miracle, I suggested that I teach her the secret parking trick and we have lunch in OldTown. So we went to one of our favorite restaurants and had a marvelous lunch. Here are some random highlights. (BG:) I brought you something. (Hands me a folder.) I don�t really know how to describe it� I open the folder to discover a photo of BG and I which was taken at the same party we had our pictures taken with random odd characters. At the party, they were having some technical difficulties with their equipment so they had to mail these pictures to us later. (CI:) How about �obnoxious�? (BG:) Yeah, that�s the word I was looking for. And, it�s huge! You should have seen the package it came in. (CI:) You�re right. This is a huge, obnoxious picture of us. Although, I must say that we look marvelous, once again. Why does all this wacky stuff make us so photogenic?! Now, for this picture we merely posed in front of a lovely background. However, I now have an 8�x10� photo which has been enhanced. The colors in the background are all off, there�s an embarrassingly corny saying on it, the event and date are included rather indiscreetly, there�s a huge logo next to me, a fake foreground has been poorly superimposed in front of us, and it looks like there�s a huge fungus coming to get us from both sides (I think they�re supposed to be yellow flowers � BG thought it was scrambled eggs and I thought it was an encroaching fungus). We however, remain unenhanced, and look really great. Just for the record, the other photos we have for that night are all polaroids in small folders. After we got done shaking our heads and laughing over this rather odd photo, I set about to catch BG up with what�s going on in the rest of the world as she�s married to law school right now. I started with Joe Millionaire. (CI:) So then he had this date with a chick and for the date, they were supposed to cook their own dinner, but she really had no clue how to cook and apparently, wasn�t interested in trying. She spent most of her time in the kitchen drinking wine and whining about the whole cooking thing. (BG:) She didn�t know how to cook at all? (CI:) Please. Joe M. asked her to hand him some garlic and she gave him some onions. Anyway, while they were eating dinner, he asked her what she�d do if she inherited $50 million. She said she�d go to a third world country, feed and bathe the children and be a mercenary. (BG:) A MERCENARY?! (CI:) Yeah, a MERCENARY. And, neither one of them caught that little faux pas. In fact, he thought that would be a nice thing to do. (BG:) You�re joking, right? (CI:) No. They�re both that stupid. (BG shudders.) I�m just guessing, but I�d say that the third world countries would pass on that little gift of �charity�. And what is up with �bathing the children�? I mean, it�s pretty standard to want to feed the starving children in third world countries, but where�d she get that bathing thing? (BG:) She wants to be a mercenary and bathe the children?! (CI:) Well, I think the third world countries are safe for the time being cause Joe M. kicked her to the curb. We talked about a bunch of other stuff, laughed a lot and just enjoyed our visit. Then I took her to meet Spin and see his shop. Here�s that. (CI:) (Picking up a stack of old tin tumblers.) Remember these BG? (I always forget that she 13 years younger than me.) (BG:) Oh yeah. How cool! (Spin:) You can have those CI. Go ahead and just take them. (CI:) Are you serious? I can�t just take stuff from your store. (Spin:) Yeah, I�m serious. See, they came with another piece and someone bought that so these are just in the way now. (CI:) Great, thanks! Anything else in your way� like that airplane? (He has a big, old remote control plane hanging from the ceiling.) (Spin:) Hey, did I ever tell you the story about that plane? (CI:) No. (Spin:) Well, this guy came in several years ago and bought it for $500 but he forgot to come back and pick it up. He comes in every once in awhile and remembers that he still needs to pick it up but forgets to come back for it. In fact, last time he was in, I told him to make sure he told his wife about it so if something happens to him, I can take it to her. (BG:) You�re kidding. (Spin:) No. In fact, his son came in the other day and I asked him if he knew that was his father�s plane and he didn�t. I told him that if anything happens to his father to make sure that he comes and gets the plane because it�ll be his then. (CI:) That�s too funny. (Spin:) Meanwhile, I just take care of it for him. Anyway, I had to get back to work so we left. I shared my tin tumblers with BG, we walked back to the car and she marveled at the secret parking trick. She dropped me off, I showed my wacky pictures and tin tumblers to Security Guard then went to my office. As I was walking to my desk, this happened. (Boss:) Cruel-Irony, are you here? (CI:) Yeah, I�m right here. (I walk in her office still in my jacket and carrying my leftover lunch, wacky picture and tin tumblers.) (Boss:) Oh, you just got back. I thought maybe you were having such a good time you took the afternoon off. (CI:) Nope. Just a long lunch. It was just what I needed. (Boss:) Good. your thoughts? seed flower