6:41 p.m. | 2003-02-13 Way To Go, Joe. Yesterday, Younger Sister suggested I might want to try botox injections as she�d heard they�re being used to treat fibromyalgia. I whirled around and shot her (pun intended) a look that said this: �Why don�t I just try shooting a bullet up my nasal passages? I�ve heard that relieves chronic pain permanently.� First off, I cannot adequately describe just how annoying it is to have people (who don�t have a chronic illness) pepper you with suggestions about how to handle a chronic condition (i.e., have you tried a llama spit massage?, shoving needles in your eyes?, pouring hot wax in your ear canal? etc.), and/or suggestions that you�re causing the problems yourself (i.e., what did you do to cause this flare up?, what did you do to make your arm sore?, what caused your migraine?, etc.). I do understand that people mean it kindly and are just trying to help. However, that does not make it any less annoying. And, I don�t usually throw deadly looks at people who make such thoughtful suggestions. Which leads me to the second thing. See, botox is botulinum toxin A which is related to botulism (a form of food poisoning). The most serious symptom of botulism is paralysis which sometimes leads to death. What is more frightening than that though, is the fear of the deadly botulism poisoning deeply engrained within the scrambled brain of Cruel-Irony � la the Cruel-Irony �rents. �Never EVER buy canned food in dented cans. It could have the botch-U-lizihim. Oh and never EVER buy canned food in cans that have become distended because they definitely have the botch-U-lizhim. Especially tomatoes. You can die from the botch-U-lizhim, ya know?� Now Younger Sister, bless her heart, is suggesting that I shoot myself full of the deadly BOTCH-U-LIZHIM. Let me just say, that�s not likely to happen. Here�s this week�s favorite quote from Joe Millionaire: �The hard part is that someone�s going to get hurt. I just hope it�s not me.� ~ Joe M. Man of my dreams, I tell you. In rather shocking news, Boss hit me today. It was fucking hilarious! She was a little miffed at someone else so she walked up to me and smacked me on the shoulder. Hard. Then, realizing what she just did, she rubbed my shoulder, apologized, hugged me, promised to never do it again and brought me flowers. Okay. She didn�t promise to never do it again nor did she bring me flowers, but she was sorry. I thought it was funnier than fuck. And, of course, I reminded her that that was not only a civil offense but a criminal offense as well. �I�ve got three little words for you Boss. Assault and battery.� ~ Cruel-Irony And speaking of funny things, check this out. I couldn�t stop laughing. your thoughts? seed flower