7:20 p.m. | 2003-03-14 Well Done Isn�t Always Well Done. Recently, Boss, Colleague and I went to the new fancy restaurant for lunch. Previously, this building housed a lunching place we frequented often because it was close by, offered a variety of dishes and was unpretentious even though Very Important People (VIPs) often dined there. And, the tables were far enough apart and the atmosphere was such that we could talk easily and laugh a lot. Then it closed, acquired new owners and reopened as a hoity-toity restaurant catering to the VIPs. So we checked it out. It�s definitely had a facelift, is much more expensive and is quite pretentious. It used to have two dining areas, but one area now serves as a lounge/waiting area and all the patrons are smashed together in the remaining dining room. And, get this, the focal point is a humungous, curved meat locker where big hunks of beef are proudly displayed behind clear glass doors. It�s the first thing you see when you walk in and it�s visible from most areas of the restaurant. Now, I�ll be the first to admit that I love me some red meat, but I find it rather repulsive and unappetizing in its raw state. I�m sure that it�s quite repugnant to the vegetarians out there. Even more perplexing to me is that the hostess points out this meat locker, Vanna White style, as she escorts you to your table. Anyway, we sat down, ordered and waited a tremendously long time for our orders to come up. Plus, as the place was chockfull of VIPs, we were censoring our conversations and being on our best behavior. Both of those things are quite taxing for us, you know? After scanning the room, we realized the only things we could talk about were Colleague�s kids and bunnies. Finally, our waiter (W) presented us with our meals. This is that. (W:) (Noticing Colleague�s furrowed brow.) Is there something wrong, Sir? (C:) Um, I ordered my steak sandwich well-done. (It was bright red in the middle.) (W:) That is well done, Sir. We do things differently here. If you order steak rare, then the middle is uncooked and the rest is red. If you order medium, then the middle is cooked and it�s red throughout. If you order well, then just the middle is red. Like yours. (C:) How would I order it so it�s well-done then? (W:) Well, if you order steak rare, then the middle is uncooked and the rest is red. If you order medium, then the middle is cooked and it�s red throughout. If you order well, then just the middle is red. Like yours. (C:) Okay. How would I order it so that it�s actually well-done throughout? (W:) (Sighs.) If you order steak rare, then the middle is uncooked and the rest is red. If you order medium, then the middle is cooked and it�s red throughout. If you order well, then just the middle is red. Like yours. (CI:) How would he order it if he wants it cooked more than well? (W:) Oh, well then you�d order it extra-well. Do you want to send it back? (C:) Uh, no. It�s okay. I just wanted to know how to order it correctly next time. And, there was more. (W:) (Turning to address Boss.) Oh, and I know that you ordered onion rings instead of fries. (She was served fries.) I�ll go tell them to cook some now and then I�ll bring them to you. Okay? (Boss:) Um. Okay. I ordered onion rings instead of fries also and that�s what I got� four onion rings. Boss got her onion rings ten minutes later. And, to think that we all paid considerably more when we could get better sandwiches and bigger portions at our cheaper eating places. I figure the extra money funds the meat locker and allows us the privilege of dining with VIPs we work with everyday. Sans a cover charge. Which reminds me� we ran into The Voice there. Here�s that. (TV:) Hi CI! (CI:) Hi. Good to see you. Just to let you know, I�ll be calling you soon in regards to several matters we need to discuss. Then, I went back to work and called him a couple hours later. (TV:) Hi, this is TV. (CI:) Hi, this is CI. (TV:) Boy, you sure weren�t kidding when you said you�d be calling me �soon�! I didn�t think you meant today! (CI:) Actually, I�ve got tons of stuff we need to talk about but, for now, I just need to know what you think about this particular matter� Needless to say, we won�t be kicking it there very often. your thoughts? seed flower