12:00 a.m. | 2003-06-04 When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough, Um, Turn All �Eloise� And Stuff. So far, this year has been all about change. Most, if not all, of the changes have not been at my hands. Lots of loss, confusion and sorrow. And, I�m fed up with all that shit. Frankly. I said I�d be all avant garde this year, but mostly, I�ve spent my time reacting to what�s been happening to me or around me. I haven�t had the strength to just grab the reigns and pull my life up short. But, I�m about to do just that. How? I�m going to change my space. Give my life a facelift. I�ve decided to move. Just think about that for a second. I�ve moved a lot in my life, so that�s not a new thing. What�s new is that I�m going to do it even though I don�t have to. I�m going to voluntarily pack up all my crap and move it. And, like every person I know, I absolutely HATE the mechanics of moving. I hate sorting, tossing stuff, packing, loading, unloading and unpacking. Granted, I�m just planning to move Downtown in MyTown, but still the mechanics of it are mostly the same. Why? Well, because change has just been kicking my ass and I�ve been fighting it every step of the way. Now, it�s my turn. I�m going to turn the tables on change. I�m going to meet it head on and give it a run for its money. And, because I fell in love with a new place. I checked it out today and, as soon as I walked through the front door, I WAS Eloise. I immediately wanted to skip down the hallways, randomly knock on doors and giggle. I didn�t, of course, but I WANTED to. See, Dearest Sister and I have LOVED Eloise since childhood. If you didn�t check out the link above, Eloise (children�s book character) grew up living in the Plaza Hotel in New York. Back in the day and all. We thought it was the coolest thing. Ever. I think we still do. Anyway, I�m not moving into an actual hotel, of course. I�m moving into an old, renovated hotel which now houses small businesses, part-time residents and full-time residents. It has that cool buzzer/speaker entry thing, an elevator with the cage-door thingee, the long hallways, the row of mailboxes, laundry in the basement, and I�m quite sure, an eccentric occupant or two. All that will be great fodder for my diary, of course, but that�s not my impetus for moving. Although, I must say, that would make for a good book, you know, if I moved just to make my diary more interesting and all. Albeit, that�d be pretty mental too. But, I digress. I�ve always had this kind of fantasy about living in such a place because I never have. Part of me has been hesitant because maybe that�s just a fantasy. But, you know, if that�s the case, I can move again. We only get one life, so I�d like to at least give it a go. And, I�ll be able to walk to work. Even with �broken� legs. I�ve always said that Downtown (of any city, town, whatever) always contains the pulse of MyTown (or any city, town, whatever). There�s a special energy, spark and/or electricity to Downtown. I wasn�t so interested in immersing myself in that when I was working and in school, but now that I�m just working, having that type of energy in my personal life is much more appealing. AnyWAY, I�d love to hear your opinion about this change. Please feel free to sign my guestbook, write me a note, or dispatch an email my way. Of course, it�s my life so I�m going do what I want to but it would be nice to know your thoughts about it all. your thoughts? seed flower