9:39 p.m. | 2003-06-25 I Lost About 100 Pounds. Of Stuff. Tonight was the Massive Purge of Junk in preparation for pick up by the Charity Truck tomorrow. I tell you, I feel 100 pounds lighter. One of my neighbors, Mr. Engineer helped me with the furniture and other heavy items. All this junk is now sitting outside. Frankly, I wouldn�t be surprised to wake up and find that a family has moved into my driveway. Fortunately, I got a burst of energy and also went through my stuff in the garage and purged a bunch of that too. Then, Mr. Engineer added a TV with a stand, and another neighbor donated a couple of bags of clothes� from the 80�s. Obviously, I�m not the only pack rat in the hood. I found some interesting notes that Scotty and I wrote years ago during class in law school. Check this out. (CI:) My doctor told me that wearing my splints for 2 months will, of course, cause my arms to atrophy � and they�ll get skinny and weak, but that�s �okay� she said because, eventually, they�ll return to normal. (Scotty:) Do you think the doctor would have a splint I could put on my ass and hope it doesn�t return? And, Scotty wrote this next to a tic-tac-toe game. �You play like Joe, Jane�s 4-year old child.� I also found a poster that Younger Sister drew for me many years ago. It contains this poem. �Now I lay me down to rest. A pile of books upon my chest. If I should die before I wake, That�s one less test I�ll have to take.� It also contains these words of wisdom. �Homework makes you CRAZY!!� And, I found my world atlas book that I�ve been whining about not owning for several years now. Imagine that � I do own one. I was just keeping it in the bottom of a box. In the garage. Which, come to think of it, is pretty much like not owning it. Same difference. In other news, work is busy as usual. Now we�re starting to do stupid stuff because we�re doing too many things at once. To wit. (Boss:) Cruel-Irony? Can you explain this? (CI:) (Appearing in her office and quickly looking at the two files she handed me.) Intern? Can you come here for a moment? (Intern:) (Appearing in Boss� office.) Yes? (CI:) (Presenting the two files to him.) Anything seem a little odd about these? (Intern:) I don�t think so. (CI:) Do they seem, um, similar perhaps? (Intern:) (Looking at them more carefully.) Uh, yeah. It�s the same assignment. (Boss:) Can you tell me exactly why you did this assignment twice? (Intern:) Well� see, I enjoyed doing this so much the first time, I did it again, um, two days later! (Boss:) You know, we don�t really have time right now to do each assignment twice. (CI:) However, apparently Boss, Head Honcho and I have plenty of time to read and sign off on each assignment twice. And, Intern, you also had time to call that office twice. (Intern:) Yeah, it looks like I called them on this day and then again two days later. They�re probably wondering what my problem is. (CI:) Don�t worry, they�re just as confused as us right now so they probably didn�t even realize that you called twice about the same thing. Of course, it�s hard to tell from this written account, but we were laughing all the way through this conversation. The fun has only just begun though. And lastly, there�s this. (CI:) If I EVER decide to move during our busy season again, just shoot me on sight and spare me all this suffering. (Boss:) Okay. your thoughts? seed flower