8:40 p.m. | 2003-08-13 Watch Two Episodes Of Golden Girls And Call Me In The Morning. Yeah, I had to prescribe that treatment to myself today. It�s an odd little remedy, for sure, but those �wacky� ladies and Rose�s St. Olaf stories always make me chuckle. I�ve been sad all day. Since I don�t really know how to �do� sad, I often recycle it into irritation and anger. Then, things like this happen. (CI:) Oh, I wish Colleague would stop rubbing his vacation in my face all the time. (Boss:) Cruel-Irony (said sternly), Colleague is NOT rubbing his vacation in your face. (CI:) I know. (Boss:) You can�t get mad at Colleague just because he took a vacation. (CI:) I know. (Heavy sigh.) And, I knew all that before I even said anything. I just needed to direct my ire somewhere and that seemed like a pretty innocuous place to direct it. I�m actually not even mad. Just sad. But what in the hell are you supposed to do with sadness? Oh wait, I think you�re supposed to cry, however, I had neither the time nor desire to shed tears at work. Which is why I turned sad into mad. That gives me energy and I certainly can use that productively. Sadness just drains me and makes me want to curl up on the couch. It also makes me quiet and contemplative. Which, you know, is really not a bad thing. Especially for those folks who normally have to listen to me prattle on and on, day after day. I�m sure many people rejoice when I just shut the fuck up. I know I do. See, I need to learn how to throw myself, dramatically of course, across my bed and sob my little heart out. But, for now, I�ll just throw it all here in my diary. I�ll save my tears up for a completely inappropriate moment. Like when someone compliments me on my new glasses. Then, I can dissolve in tears. Well, that�s enough of that bullshit. And Look! I feel better already! In other news, HotelManager potted a bunch of flowers out on the front porch today so now I actually have a garden to, well, garden. Up to this point, I�ve just been taking care of my perennials, which haven�t needed much care as they haven�t been blooming while they�re adjusting to their new space. Now though, I�ve got a bunch of flowers that I already need to deadheaded and arranged and stuff. The gardening will do me good. And, for god�s sakes, I need to put down the fucking newspaper and pick up a good book. Yet, I�m not quite there yet. So, I�ll go for the great equalizer� mindless TV. Tomorrow, I�ll be good to go. your thoughts? seed flower