12:27 a.m. | 2003-09-18 Undercover. Today was the first public debut of my jacked up face. In other words, I worked from the office rather than from home. I applied quite a bit of makeup, pulled my hair over to one side of my face and tried to avoid any direct eye contact with anyone. For the most part, I think it worked. However, I wouldn�t be surprised to hear some rather odd rumors about myself several months down the road. Normally, I�m quick to tuck my hair neatly behind my ears, I look directly at people and I�m quite gregarious. Now I�ve resulted to sneaking around. I really don�t want to see the shocked reactions, I don�t want to repeatedly explain how I fell down the stairs, and I certainly don�t want to be pulled aside for a little �domestic violence� talk. (Especially since I live alone and was alone at the time of the accident.) The whole thing is such a clich�. After working for several hours behind a veil of hair, I walked over to Colleague�s isolated office solely so I could get all that damned hair out of my face. Here�s some of that. (CI:) Hey Colleague! I�m back today. (Tucking my hair neatly behind my ears.) (C:) Wow! Sorry. I�m glad I heard about your face before I saw it because it�s pretty messed up. (He heard about it from Boss.) (CI:) Yeah. It is. And, it hurts. Anyway, Boss is out of the office at an off-site meeting so it�s just us today. (C:) Maybe you should go home. It looks like your face hurts really bad. Really, you should go home. (CI:) Hell no! I�ve had cabin fever like you wouldn�t believe even though I was still working and everything. I needed to get the hell outta my house. And, what good would it do to go home? I can be in pain here or in pain at home. (Two blocks away, I might remind you.) (C:) Well, maybe you could go home and take some aspirins or something. You know, you could feel better. (CI:) (No, frankly, I don�t know why he says such weird shit to me.) Aspirins? What the hell are you talking about? You do remember that I�m in pain everyday and actually eat ibuprofen 800s like you eat M&Ms right? (C:) Oh yeah. That just doesn�t seem like enough though. (CI:) Well, it�s not, but it�ll do for now. Hey, you wanna go to lunch today? (C:) No, I�ve got plans. And, frankly, I wouldn�t go out to lunch with you without a third person present at the moment. Sorry, but your face is just too messed up. (CI:) Gee, thanks. But, I know what you mean. (C:) Maybe tomorrow. If Boss is done with her off-site meeting, maybe we can all go out together. I ate lunch at my desk. Later, however, I paid another visit to Colleague�s office. (CI:) Hi. (C:) What�s up? (CI:) I came over here solely to get my hair outta my face and to say: OH MY GOD, MY FACE HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! (C:) Am I supposed to �coddle� you now? (CI:) (Surprised.) No, not at all. I meant that literally. I just wanted to say it out loud. But, stop making me make facial expressions; that hurts. (C:) I�d imagine it would since it�s starting to scab over. You should go home. That�s really gotta be painful. Trust me, it is. On another note, I had this rather interesting conversation today while standing in line at a store behind a husband and wife. (Wife:) Let me call his office and make sure he�s there because I know he hates evening appointments, but I can�t be waiting around. (Husband:) Okay. (Wife:) I�m not getting an answer. I gotta go [to the restroom]. I�ll be right back and I�ll call him again. (Husband:) Yeah, you should go. (Turning to me.) These shrinks� these quacks� see we just bought a new house but we have to pick up the kids and go on to the real estate agent�s office. (CI:) Wow, a new house. That�s a big, uh, thing. And, the kids� yeah. (Husband:) See, this is the last visit we�re having with the Quack, you know? We�re finally gonna solve this THING that my wife and my mother-in-law have against me. Then, everything will be okay and they�ll stop bothering me. (CI:) I see. (Envisioning a rather bleak future for him.) (Wife:) I FINALLY got through to him. We have to leave now. (CI:) Uh, good luck. Why do strangers tell me stuff like that? your thoughts? seed flower