2:20 a.m. | 2003-11-28 Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Reaper. Hey, Can I Call You Grim? For this Thanksgiving, I had it in my mind that I would rest a lot, cook a traditional meal, and maybe clean the bathroom. What, with four whole days off, I figured I could also read some, watch some TV and just kind of be, well, sloth-like. A mini-vacation, if you will. It started off well. I slept in, started some laundry, threw a turkey in the oven and settled back to relax. Things were good. Then, DearestSister called about my Ex-Brother-In-Law�s (XBIL) funeral arrangements. Here�s some of that. (DS:) It�s on Saturday. They�re having a viewing and then a memorial. (CI:) This Saturday? The 29th? (DS:) Yeah. (CI:) Well, I guess that�d be one really good reason that we spread MyDad�s ashes last month. (DS:) Oh my God, you�re right. We were originally going to do that this weekend. Oh, that would�ve been awful timing. Anyway, StepMom is gonna drive Happy (her other son) and I to EldestNephewTown. (CI:) Can she drive me too? I mean, this is a little much right now and I�m not real comfortable about driving. (DS:) Yeah. That�s a great idea. We have to go through MyTown anyway, so we might as well pick you up. We�re gonna go there and come back on Saturday, so that�d work well for both of us. I�ll ask her when she calls tomorrow. (CI:) That�d be great. By the way, what can I do? (DS:) Can you call EldestSister and YoungerSister and tell them the plans? (CI:) Sure. We rang off, I made the calls and finished cooking. I must say that the turkey turned out great. I also have to say that it�s a lot of work cooking a traditional meal for only one person. I was busy doing laundry, cooking and cleaning for most of the day. Later on, DS called again. Plans have changed and so I�ll be heading to ENTown tomorrow (today), spending the night and, hopefully, coming back on Saturday. My restful, peaceful mini-vacation is gone. In its place is another funeral and a trip backwards into my past. I�m not sure that I�m prepared for all that, but there it is. See, we lived next to XBIL�s family home when I was in junior high. That�s when DS first crushed on him. When she was in high school, they started dating which eventually led to a marriage. In total, they were only together for a few years and only married for a couple of years. But, XBIL is EldestNephew�s father, so we�ve been connected to him and his family for over twenty years. Over those years, my involvement has mostly consisted of being a taxi person. I�ve picked up EN and dropped him off many, many times. And, XBIL�s parents still live in the same house. Right next door to the house we used to live in. The very first house we lived in in MyState actually. The same house that YoungerSister suffered a fractured arm when she flew down the driveway on her trike and ran into a tree. The same house where DS, during her crush days, managed to �borrow� XBIL�s favorite album (The Eagles Greatest Hits). She played that album to death. Really. I know all the words to every one of the songs. She was young, he was young� the relationship was doomed. From the get go. In the end, the only thing they had in common was their son. EldestNephew. And, even though XBIL and his family members have been a part of my life � abeit, a small part � for so many years, I never really connected the dots. The dots were connected tonight when DS told me that EN had arranged a private viewing tomorrow� just for XBIL, DS and EN. That�s when it finally hit me that XBIL and DS actually created EN. That probably sounds really stupid, but she was 18 when she had EN and the marriage was over by the time she was 20. Hence, I never really realized that they were a �family� in a mom, dad and son way. XBIL was always on the edge of that family �unit�. Mostly, he really wasn�t there. Yet, he was always there in one way, shape or form for more that two decades. And, there�s still no known cause of death. They did an autopsy but none of the usual stuff came up. So, they ran some other tests and we�ll know the results in a month or so. I really hate this. I really, really do. No disrespect to the deceased, but this dying stuff is really difficult to deal with. Especially when you�re dealt a full house. your thoughts? seed flower