11:51 p.m. | 2004-02-25 The Gods Must Be Crazy. Or, Perhaps It�s Just Me. Today started out like a regular winter day. It was stormy, rainy and cold. Hence, I was reluctant � and slow � to get out of bed. But, I managed all that. I went to work, blah, blah, blah� things were �normal�. Until lunchtime. Then, I did something very uncharacteristic, yet very characteristic, if you know me. And, you�d have to know me very well to find this behavior in any way �normal� for me. Yeah. So, when I went to heat up my lunch, I ran into another colleague whom I�ve dubbed as GS. Here�s what happened. (GS:) How things going? (CI:) Pretty good. (GS:) Need the microwave? I�ll move over. It�s Ash Wednesday, so I�m going to church for lunch today. (CI:) (Knowing that he�s Catholic.) Oh, so you�re going to the OtherChurch (Presbyterian Church) for the ceremony. Just as background, the DownTown Catholic Church is undergoing renovations so the Presbyterian Church �hosts� the daily Catholic masses. I was raised Episcopalian, which is like Catholic-Light (less guilt, pomp and ceremony), have been to Catholic services, haven�t been to church � outside of weddings, baptisms and communions � for about twenty years, and am really intrigued by the architecture of the church next door. (That�d be the Presbyterian Church.) (GS:) Yeah. Would you like to go with me? (CI:) Um, sure. When are you leaving? (GS:) At such and such time. (CI:) That time is now. (GS:) Yeah, I guess so. Meet you in the hallway? (CI:) Sure. I went back to �my� office to get my coat and umbrella, and to inform OMC about my change in plans. Here�s that. (CI:) Hey OMC, I�m going to the Catholic Mass for Ash Wednesday with GS. I�ll be back in an hour. (OMC:) What? You�re going to church? (CI:) Yeah. GS invited me and well, really, I just want to see the inside of the church next door. The outside fascinates me and I want to see the inside. (OMC:) I wouldn�t recommend that you tell GS that. (CI:) Never. Mum�s the word, right? (OMC:) Heh. So, I went to church. Or rather, I went to a Catholic Mass for Ash Wednesday at a Presbyterian Church. As, well, not a non-believer, but as a non-practicing-of-any-religion-I-make-up-my-own person. That was a little unsettling when I suddenly realized that I was attending on a day when they�re gonna smear ashes on my forehead for all the world to see. I also realized that I�d be taking communion too. Of course, I didn�t really have to, but I felt compelled. See, outside of wanting to see the inside of the church next door, I�ve been feeling particularly reverent. Like, in a church way. I often feel reverent, but it�s always been outside of churches or organized religions. Because, you know, you can feel reverent in your own space and time. That doesn�t require structure. And, I�ve been feeling reverent about MyDad lately. He was raised religiously and was quite active in the church when I was young. He, eventually, went the way I did, which was to celebrate his own spirituality outside of any organized religion. But, the elements of reverence, MyDad and stained glass (church) have been on my mind lately. All those elements came together today. And, it is beautiful inside the church. It�s ornate and simple at the same time. MyDad would�ve loved it. The service was good also. Quite surreal, but okay. However, I guess the Presbyterians aren�t kneelers. No kneeling thing. Catholics � and Episcopalians � kneel. Frequently. Hence, the kneeling devices they employ which are padded and whatnot. But, none of that today. Which, perhaps, is appropriate for the beginning of Lent � the repentance time of year. Yeah. The cement floor. Not good for the actual kneeling, but good for the soul, I guess. In that sense that it makes you immediately grateful that you don�t have to kneel on a cement floor daily. Or sleep on one. That�s a humbling � and painful � thing to do. Anyway, my forehead was �branded� today with an ash cross. Which isn't an easy look to carry when you�re walking around. In the church? Sure. Everyone has the same sooty smudge on their forehead. On the street, or in the workplace? Not so much. Here�s what OMC had to say about it. (CI:) Hey, so what�s the deal with this file? (OMC:) I�m sorry. I can�t look at you without laughing. That�s so sacrilegious. (Laughing hysterically.) (CI:) Because I wanted to see the inside of a church? Was that sacrilegious? I mean, I wouldn�t have gone if� (OMC:) No, not you�re sincerity. It�s my laughing that sacrilegious. (CI:) I personally think it�s pretty fucking, er, fricking funny that my impetus was that I wanted to see the inside of the church. That wasn�t totally it, but that�s what made me go. Oh, and I committed a sin during the ceremony. That�s probably not good. (OMC:) What sin? (CI:) Oh, I totally coveted the chandeliers in the church. Totally. I want them. In my house. Coveting stuff is a sin right? I broke a commandment didn�t I? You know, I have no business being in a church even if I am sincere. What in the hell was I thinking? (OMC:) I�m sorry, but I can�t look at you anymore. I�m so going to hell. (CI:) Well, I�ll see you there, then. Oh, and don�t be thinking I�m gonna show up without some ashes on my forehead. Let me just say that I don�t do organized religion well. I respect it, but I certainly don�t do it any justice. your thoughts? seed flower