10:33 p.m. | 2004-05-11 Happenstance. Sometimes, It�s Like Performance Art. On Crack. So, at work today, I met a Very, Very Important Person (V2IP). Uh, in the restroom. Of course. Yes, I am a long-standing member of the Murphy�s Law Club. Can I get an �Amen�? Surely, I�m not the only member. Surely. Hey, Shirley why are you running away? Here�s how it all went down. So to speak. See, I went to the Ladies Room after the end of the day. The Ladies Room on our floor has only one stall, one sink and three mirrors. Heh. I presume the Men�s Room is the same, as in only one occupant at a time, but I�ve not been there so I don�t know. I also assume it only has one mirror, but we all know where assumptions lead, right? Back to the point. I went into the appropriate restroom and verified that it was unoccupied before entering the stall. Okay, off point, for a minute� there�s a certain, unwritten � yet clearly understood � protocol in the Ladies Room. If you enter and someone else is in the room, you leave and come back later. Even if you have to go really, really bad. Many of us, myself included, use the �light on, light off� signaling method to avoid any embarrassing moments. Because, well, you can see into the stall once you�re in the room. In other words, if there�s any sign of life in the room, you exit promptly and come back later. It�s all about gender-specific bathroom protocols. I guess. So, I entered the stall, sat down � as women are wont to do � and promptly noticed that someone left their purse on the hook in the stall. I immediately deliberated about how to handle that. It can get complicated as women leave glasses, keys, jewelry, cellphones, purses and whatnot behind. And, it�s not a place you�d think to check. Just to let you know, when things such as jewelry and purses are left behind, you don�t normally want to send out �broadcast� email; rather you just want to make sure whoever owns it gets it back. Protocol. However, while I was finishing up, if you will, in the stall, a woman suddenly burst into the room and tried to open the stall door. As an aside, all this talk about �stall doors� makes me feel like a horse. Oh, and rekindles my preteen wish of having a pony. And, this is surely an aside exemplified. Right, Shirley? She (not Shirley), of course, immediately apologized and told me she thought she�d left her purse there. I verified that. And, when I left the stall, I handed it to her. With smiles and whatnot. Typical bathroom etiquette. I recognized her immediately, and had to suppress a Murphy�s Law giggle. I know her image from the media. She has absolutely no clue who I am. I�m cool with that. I like to fly under the VIP radar, even more so under the V2IP screen. But, I have to admit, that�s classic. I�ve met the most amazing people in the most unusual of circumstances. Then, I second guessed my V2IP skills and went down the hall and checked in with another colleague, AB. Here�s that. (CI:) Hey, AB. (AB:) Hey Cruel-Irony. What�s up? (CI:) Is V2IP here today? (AB:) I believe so, but I haven�t checked. Why? (CI:) Well, uh, I believe I just met her in the bathroom. (AB:) There�s this and that going on so I do think she�s here. In the bathroom? That�s funny. (CI:) Typical for me. But, somewhat awkward, of course. Fortunately, I didn�t feel compelled to introduce myself. I never do. I always seem to meet VIPs or famous people in strange, random circumstances like that. You know, where introductions are not really the thing to do, and I would really rather not leave that first impression. Albeit, they always seem to remember me. I�m always that �lady�� the one on the phone, the one that held the elevator, the one who� um, handed them their purse in the bathroom. (AB:) (Hee. hee.) Same here. I met this VIP in the Ladies Room also. I had to go, I mean really, really had to go. And, you know how it is with VIPs and the bathroom protocol and everything� but, that day, no. I turned to her, addressed her formally and then proceeded to tell her that I couldn�t let her go first. No, not then. (CI:) What�d she say? (AB:) She laughed and said that the bathroom is a great equalizer. She totally blew it off. (CI:) It�s funny how that happens. I�m probably the most competitive and compassionate � at the same time � in the Ladies Room. When I have to go, I have to go. But, I always let the children, elderly and the �dancers� go before me. Other than that, it�s all fair game. (AB:) They do remember you though. You know, from those odd exchanges. (CI:) Yes, they do. (AB:) Oh, and as a heads up, V3IP is probably gonna be here tomorrow. (CI:) Well, I hope I don�t meet her in the bathroom too. Or, when I�m swearing or other such nonsense. I think I just jinxed myself. What�s really funny is that I don�t care if I ever meet VIPs. Generally speaking, of course. There are people that I�d like to meet, but those folks are somewhere else. But, the VIPs I do meet, like V2IP today? Yeah, my whole division � outside of me, AB and possibly, UA � are waiting in anticipation to meet her. I saw her once previously, and ran away. Today, well, that was pretty much unavoidable. And, I�m not even suggesting that these VIPs aren�t meeting-worthy people, because they are, just that I�m not into that so much. I�d rather meet amazing people, not famous people. Not that I�m suggesting that the VIPs that I meet aren�t amazing � I�m sure that they are � I guess I just want to meet them after the fame thing. When the amazement factor outweighs the fame. In that sense, the bathroom exchange was great because it was just an ordinary thing. But, at the same time, it was surely typical, as that tends to happen a lot in my life. So, now you know. If you�re famous and want to meet me, leave your purse in the restroom. Funny thing too� I won�t even touch it or go through it. AB suggested that I could�ve just looked in the purse to identify the owner. However, pathetically, that never even crossed my mind. Just for the record, the purse matched her shoes and her jacket. And, there were a lot of colors going on there. Had she not come back for it, I could�ve matched it to her. Of course, it would�ve been funnier had I leapt out of the stall, held her purse up to jacket and proclaimed: �Oh, just SHUT UP! That is so PERFECT!� Do I watch too much TV? Why yes, yes I do. your thoughts? seed flower