10:27 p.m. | 2004-11-09 I�ve Been Experiencing Some Auto Pilot Turbulence. Know what I�m talking about? That Auto Pilot (AP) thing that takes over when you�re driving, walking or whatnot. Where you can�t remember if you stopped at that stop sign or if you walked by a particular place and such? Yeah. That AP. It�s one that�s often taken for granted until. Well, there�s turbulence. Like today. I got up, showered, dried off, etc. Everything was cool until I realized � while getting dressed � that I hadn�t dried off my lower right leg. My first thought? Who in this big wide world forgets to do that? Well, other than toddlers and such. And, I do believe I was probably less than two years old the last time I forgot to dry off my lower right leg. Random and somewhat disconcerting. That seemed to be the theme of the day. To wit, I went to a meeting that I didn�t want to attend in order to receive more direction on a project I don�t really want to do. Why? Well, outside of my general pessimistic nature I already know that I�m gonna do a lot of work that�ll take a lot of time and will promptly be trashed. And, I already hate this project because I initially received the assignment because I finished my work � and other people�s work � first. During the busy season. That�s a really sick reward. Really. But, the worst part? I would�ve been happy to do all this busy work when I was in my early twenties. When I had the requisite optimism and energy. The hard part? The fact it�ll have someone else�s name on it. The rather bitter part? My partner in this project is in his early twenties, has optimism and energy. And, it�ll further his future on the fast track that he�s already on. Yes. I am short-sighted, bitter and resentful. Not pretty, mind you, but honest. I should take this opportunity and run with it. Full force. Except that I�m tired of this drill. I�m tired of doing busy work so someone else can claim it. However, I am grateful that I have a job. Especially in this really bad economy. And, I�m glad that I can work, notwithstanding my disability. So really I should be happy and joyous. But, I probably should be more concerned about the fact that I didn�t automatically dry off my lower right leg. I don�t think it�d behoove me if I came to work with saturated clothes. Really. I mean, first things first, right? Oh, but I was somewhat mollified � or excited, you pick � by the fact that I threw out an old-fashioned clich� during our internal meetings and the youngster I�m working with finally got it. This is that. (Youngster:) CI, do you have a minute? (CI:) Sure, have a seat. (Y:) I was researching history for this project and several years ago the professional assessment included that quote you do about the �henhouse�. (CI:) Really? They said �That�s like a fox guarding the henhouse�? (Y:) Yes. Well, best I can remember. It had the fox and the henhouse. Now I understand what that means. Because they explained it. (CI:) Great. But next time you don�t understand one of my old-time clich�s? Just ask me. You acted like you understood so I didn�t explain it. (Y:) I kind of knew but didn�t know how it applied to this. (CI:) Well, it�s an old clich�. I don�t know exactly how old it is but definitely older than my parents and grandparents. However, they certainly understood it as it was still very literal in its meaning. I�ve seen it of course. Wait, you don�t come from farm people do you? (Y:) No. Not at all. (CI:) Okay. Um, it�s not a pretty sight. It�s not good in theory either. (Y:) That�s what they (the professional assessors) said too. Wow. Okay. I understand that better now. Thank God I didn�t have to show him footage of that theory. Really, it�s not a pretty sight. P.S. I just have to say that I love the TBS show �He�s a Lady�. Again, not always a pretty sight, yet it�s educational. In a weird way. Much like the �henhouse� theory. your thoughts? seed flower