10:47 p.m. | 2005-01-12 What People Don�t Know. Let�s start with what people do know about me. Because you know it�s all about me. That�s why it�s my diary and not yours. However, I have to admit that while I expect you to understand that my diary is about me, I really shouldn�t expect you to understand that I think my life is all about me. And, as much as I�d like that to be true, it�s not. It just isn�t all about me. Under the illusion that it is, I�ve spent most of my years telling people �my story�, if you will. Mostly, that involves me being on my own at 17. Armed with a high school diploma. Not a well-stocked arsenal there considering that I was up against the �real world�. The world? Yeah, that part is very real. And, it involves that dreaded, yet true, need for food, clothing and shelter. So, I worked in fast food places as a start. Very quickly I decided that I didn�t want to do that for the rest of my life. I was in need of, and desired, more education. I was primed for it too. My father had always insisted that I had to go to college. However, when he moved to a foreign country after I graduated high school (which left me homeless), I didn�t have the wherewithal to further my education. But by 20? Yeah. I was taking care of myself, had pretty much conquered the basics of the whole �food, clothing and shelter� requirements, and was ready. Hell, I was reading encyclopedias volume to volume. My brain was screaming for exercise. Just one problem. A big problem. I thought I was too stupid to go to college. There it is. Not many people know that I felt that way. That I thought I was �stupid�. Oh, I did. So much so I signed up for an adult education class before even attempting to sign up at the local community college. I signed up for a computer class actually. Remember, this was back in the early �80s. ATMs were starting to appear and there was much talk about computers on desks. Like, desktop computers. I figured that I should know something about all that. I signed up for the class, attended and finished all the assignments within the first two weeks. My instructor immediately started recruiting students, professors and whatnot to convince me to pursue an education in computer science. After the class ended, I went down to the community college and signed up. My first class was computer logic and I achieved 100% on every assignment and test. Then those professors convinced me to keep going. At this point, I have degrees in Computer Science and Business Administration and a juris doctorate in Law. Yet, I�ll never forget that I thought I was too stupid for college. I don�t think of myself as stupid nowadays � which, ironically has nothing to do with education � it�s just that I�ll always remember that somehow, somewhere, someone had me believing that I was just too stupid. Notwithstanding the fact that I pretty much always had a 4.0 grade point average prior to even stepping a foot into that adult education class. Let me just say that it doesn�t take a lot to erode someone and words are mighty powerful. That�s why I hang on to that memory of being �too stupid�. It reminds me to be careful about my words. your thoughts? seed flower