10:45 p.m. | 2005-02-06 Self Recordings. Have you ever heard other people muttering their self recordings? You know, the things we all say to ourselves. Those subconscious messages. Things along the line of: �I�m so stupid�, �I�m such a dork� or �I�m so fat�. Everyone has self recordings and I rarely hear good ones. The good ones are often spoke deliberately, not subconsciously. (Cross reference: bragging.) As I�ve become more aware of my own thoughts, I�ve been attuned to what others mutter about themselves. Overall? It�s not pretty. And, they don�t appear to be original. When a six year old walks away from an array of food with a smidgen of salad repeating a mantra about how they�re too fat? That�s coming from someone other than the said child. But, how often do we examine self recordings? Why do we except them as our own? Are they of our own design or do we absorb these messages from those around us? I�ve noticed this because my own have changed. They have not changed because I plastered motivational (or whatever) posters or signs around my house. They�ve changed because I�m changing. The forties are fabulous. Let me just say that. I�ve also put a lot of work in. The changes are not due to some musing. I�ve been working on myself a lot lately. Which, ironically, has made me more open to others. I�ve been listening more because I realize that I don�t know a whole lot. Sorry, but that�s what happens when you mature. And, it happens repeatedly. Unless you just refuse to let that process interfere with your life. (Cross reference: teenagers.) I have to say though, that when those messages stop being negative and start being positive, it�s remarkable. But, it has to be real. You can�t bully yourself into beneficial self recordings. Sure, you can cover up all that crap by telling yourself � outloud or whatever � that you�re great, yet those messages still exist. At the very center. Where it matters. When all is said and done, you still have to do the hard work. Oh, and I did my taxes this weekend in addition to all my other chores. As much as musing can be hard work, so can all this other stuff. That's why they call it the daily grind. your thoughts? seed flower