10:04pm | 2005-02-08 Change Is Underfoot. Things are going to change at work � that much I know. How it�ll change, I don�t know. The part that I do know? Yeah, it�s going to be very interesting. Very. And, a lot of it will stay the same. Mostly the part about me working crazy hours. Apparently, �crazy hours� are going to evolve into �even crazier hours�. I�d rather go to the dentist. At least I get a lollipop there. Or a new toothbrush. Whatever. It�s better than crazier hours. That�s for sure. Honestly, I really need to make an appointment. I�m overdue for that. In other news, I found out that someone died recently. Not someone I was close to, but someone I was close enough to that I wished ill will upon them. Quite frequently back in the day and all. Kind of like my ex-brother-in-law. Some folks just aren�t so nice. Yet, no matter what sort of ill will I wish upon them, I take it back a lot because I�m not the Almighty. Things have a way of happening notwithstanding what you hitch your wagon to. Be it religion, fate, karma � whatever that is, it�s more powerful than you. At least, that�s what I believe. Feel free to believe whatever you believe. Honestly, whatever anyone believes, things are just going to happen. In shorter words, I�m not vengeful because life has a way of leveling things out. And, let me just say that life deals a deadlier hand than I ever would. Seriously. There were so many times, in my youth, that I had very vengeful wishes towards DearestSister. Awful things. And, frankly, they weren�t unwarranted. However, I would�ve never dreamed up the hand she�s been dealt. That hand? Way worse than anything I could�ve come up with. Fortunately, I learned that lesson early on. I leave vengeance to others. Mostly I leave it up to life itself. But, it was sad to learn today that this person I knew died. A person I thought was, well, pretty much an asshole. A person I had some ill will towards. Again, my vengeance would�ve been way less drastic � like a random charley horse or something � but not death. (If you don�t know what a charley horse is, it�s when your calf muscle develops a severe cramp, a knot if you will, which happens mostly when you�re sleeping. It�s not pleasant, but then again, it�s not fatal.) Of course, my ill will wish did not result in a death, but it makes me feel not so good. And, it�s a good reminder. I need to remember that lives can change suddenly and no one is exempt from that fact. Sometimes, it�s only a matter of seconds. That�s always a good thing to remember. your thoughts? seed flower